


Existing

by TheRoguePhilosopher



Series: The Carmilla Urban Vampire Chronicles [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7017826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoguePhilosopher/pseuds/TheRoguePhilosopher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vampire-style novel.  Carmilla takes Laura deep underground (literally) to see how vampires live.  As with everything Carmilla does, the trip has a purpose--and Laura will have to make a life changing decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let Me Show You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Creampuffs! This is carried over from FF, and because I do some editing on that site after making a word doc, there may be slight, slight differences from chapter to chapter.

Laura Hollis has exactly twelve different kinds of snack food. They are divided neatly into three snack categories: salty, sweet, and so salty/sweet that it counts as a guilty pleasure. She also made sure to list them in alphabetical order, for proper, organized listing purposes and to make sure to leave none of them out. 

Laura Hollis also has two favorite seasons, fall and spring, had a stuffed bunny named Snuggie that she kept until she was 18 and her first roommate, Betty, pointed out that it was a bit much to come to college with a stuffed animal and still expect to be treated like more than a child. She has seen entirely too many Disney movies enough times to know the words to all of the songs, and hates gin due to one night of experiencing too many amateur-mixed martinis that she experienced on repeat in the Dorm A restroom and now even the smell makes her nauseous. 

Carmilla Karnstein knows all of this about Laura Hollis because Laura will talk about any and everything to avoid talking about them.

Us. The plurality that kept weaving in and out of Carmilla’s mind as Laura droned on and on about any and everything, avoiding what the vampire knew to be inevitable. 

“I don’t think that HD makes that much of a difference. Like if I download a movie in HD, and then watch some of it in regular in someone else’s room, I can barely tell the difference.” Laura droned on, munching on her vending machine feast.

This has got to stop, Carmilla thought, not willing to tolerate the dance around everything they wouldn’t say. 

“I suppose if it’s like a nature movie, or something where the color of the sky really, really matters, I would get the HD version--”

Laura stopped when she felt Carmilla slip her hand into her own, gently intertwining their fingers, but saying nothing. 

Laura swallowed, keeping her gaze in front of them. She took a breath, but didn’t move her hand away. It felt like ages since she had last felt Carmilla’s skin, and therefore had forgotten the affect it had on her.

“Or maybe the HD wouldn’t even make a difference in how the sky looks.”

Carmilla still said nothing, letting Laura finish her nervous babble, knowing the woman felt her palm and all of the terrifying realities of once again feeling her touch. 

Laura swallowed again, looking at Carmilla, still letting their hands stay pressed together. She was suddenly out of things to say, waiting for Carmilla to acknowledge the contact, or at least give some indication as to what her intentions were. 

“It is the same.” Carmilla said after a moment, turning her head to look back at Laura. 

“Not in HD?” Laura asked, aware that now face-to-face, their noses were only a few inches apart. 

She noticed that Carmilla’s scent, the one that had previously taken over half of their dorm room, was inescapably present. It brought up the same feelings of longing, yet now instead of wondering what it would be like to kiss Carmilla, she wondered what it would be like to let go of her heroic notions of simple good/evil dichotomies and keep holding onto the hand that was silently pressing for more attention. 

“HD or no HD, I mean the sky always looks the same.” Carmilla’s voice was softer than it had been in the last couple of weeks. Laura waited silently for her to continue, feeling Carmilla take the hand she had already claimed and move it into her lap, still holding, but now stroking her fingers with the other hand. 

“It looks the same no matter where or when you look up. Orion’s belt and the Big Dipper are still there, whether you’re looking up and you hear a wine-induced Francophone cacophony being spoken around you or if you look up from a lightly snow-covered mountainside with nobody around at all. It looked the same the night I had my first kiss as the night I had my first bite as the night before war was declared on fascist Germany.” 

Laura pondered the thought for a moment, taking in the words and the feeling of Carmilla’s hands gently making her body as aware as her mind of her presence. 

As Carmilla traced her knuckles, she tried to drink in the words that had been spoken. 

If course. She’s lived in at least thirty different countries in the last three hundred years, and here I am, clearly not impressing her with my knowledge of crème-filled pastries all night. The young woman sighed, once again in her life questioning her concept of reality. 

“Laura, before Silas saw the inevitable release of every sort of being that nobody wanted to admit existed, have you ever truly experienced something terrifying happen in your lifetime?” 

Carmilla had a way of asking a question in just the right way where she sounded genuine, not condescending. 

Laura shook her head from side to side, looking at Carmilla in anticipation of anything else she had to say. 

“I think that,” Carmilla started, pausing for a moment to look away and take a breath before continuing, “I need to remember that.” 

“What do you mean?” Laura pressed nervously, hoping that Carmilla wouldn’t notice her hand slightly fidget. 

She had, of course noticed, along with the pulse that fluttered under her touch. She continued tracing invisible patterns on the hand in her lap, venturing up to a soft forearm. 

“I need to remember that when you talk about Silas, it’s the first time you’ve experienced these types of—situations. You’ve never seen a village burn to the ground or a war come and go, and then been around to see humanity carry on afterwards, sometimes so quickly that it seems callous. You can’t imagine that Silas might come out alright, but that it might not, and either way the world continues on.” 

Laura nodded, trying to wrap her head around where Carmilla was going. 

“The sky stays the same.” She said, looking at the dark, bold eyes of her former immortal lover. 

“It does. I need to remind myself that all of these things that in my bigger picture seem less important, but for you, it’s the whole picture.” Carmilla looked down at their hands, openly rubbing her palm up and down Laura’s arm. She was always drawn to Laura’s skin, and in particular, the way Laura was letting her touch her skin. 

“Carmilla, what are you saying?” Laura asked, choosing to keep her gaze on Carmilla’s face, unaware that she was slightly moving closer. 

“I’m saying you like cookies, creampuffs, pretzel sticks, cartoon movies for some unexplainable reason, the change from summer into the cooling of autumn and a lot of other seemingly mundane but somehow significant things. Why?” 

“What do you mean, why?” 

“What do these things make you feel?” Carmilla raised her gaze back to Laura’s soft Hazel eyes, looking at her intently. 

“Safe. Comfortable. Warm.” 

Carmilla nodded, gathering her boldness. 

“And this?” Carmilla asked, raising up the hand she had been stroking for the last few moments, continuing to feel her way through the folds of Laura’s fingers, demonstrating what she was talking about. 

“Cared about. Confused.” She paused to swallow. “Afraid.” 

Carmilla nodded, their faces now only an inch apart. 

“Is that how I always made you feel, or just now?” 

“Sometimes some of those feelings more than others, but yes, I guess always at least a little of the three.” Laura was whispering now, even though they were the only two present. 

“It’s our sky.” 

Laura thought about it for a few moments, breathing in the same air as Carmilla, but staying silent. The electricity of being in close proximity to Carmilla was still present as it always had been, as if her skin were trying to stretch from her body to see if it could touch more of the older, paler woman. 

It was slowly starting to seep in. Carmilla existed before her favorite cookies, and would probably still be alive if they went out of existence. But the feeling from them would still exist-even if in other ways, from other things. 

She thought about it, stopping Carmilla’s wandering touch to just hold their hands together, seeing Carmilla’s brow furrow, waiting for a response. 

“So, you might be my hero, or you might be a complete anti-hero, but you’re always going to make me feel like this?” 

“I believe that this thing that we feel,” Carmilla motioned between them with her free hand, “the thing that’s so hard to articulate, whatever it is that makes us move closer to each other bit by bit, that’s what is really us.” 

Carmilla contemplated just moving in that last little bit and kissing Laura, just to really feel like an us again. But she knew that Laura was starting to get it, but still was too naïve to understand. 

“I once asked you if we could, for one night, pretend we could just be us. We’d leave--”

“And just be you and me.” In Love. She remembered Carmilla’s exact words. 

“The offer still stands.”

Laura’s eyes went wide. 

“You’re still asking me to abandon everything and everyone I’ve ever known?” Laura asked, the afraid in her starting to overpower the part that felt cared about simply from being in Carmilla’s presence. 

“No. Not if you don’t want to. I just mean that I’ve been living here in your world, and you’ve started to see some of mine, but not really. I’m asking you to let me show you.” Carmilla was still fighting every instinct she had inside of her to lean into a kiss. She could feel that Laura still desired her, but she was offering something much more vulnerable than her body. 

Laura searched the black orbs, noticing her pupils had little flecks of white in them. She couldn’t process everything that had happen to them in the last few weeks, but she also couldn’t imagine not looking into Carmilla’s eyes for another broken-hearted, sleepless night. 

“Show me.”


	2. Speed

“We’re not going to make it.” Laura huffed out, trying to keep up with Carmilla in the pitch black of night.

She knew that the vampire was running slow to let her just keep pace behind her, full well aware that if she ran at full speed, she would already be on board the train they were chasing. 

“You’re right. Hop on.” Carmilla stopped and crouched down, expecting Laura to hop right into her back. 

“I’m not--”

“Laura! I need you to trust me right now, or we’ll be stuck waiting for eight hours for the next one. Hop. On.” Carmilla crouched lower, emphasizing her point. 

Laura climbed onto the taller woman’s back; even while throwing in an eye roll that she knew nobody would ever see. As soon as her arms were secured around Carmilla’s neck and her legs gripping around the slender yet strong waist, Carmilla took off, the speed causing Laura to have difficulty seeing or breathing. She gripped tighter in the coming seconds, understanding how Carmilla would have to get them onto the train. 

She knew ideologically that Carmilla could move fast, but she never had expected to experience the speed of a mountain cat embodied in a human form. As they approached the train, Carmilla looking for an open car for them to leap into, the blonde instinctively gripped her arms and legs tighter, feeling nothing but musculature pounding away underneath her. Carmilla was moving at the same speed as the train, and even with the added weight of the smaller woman on her back, it didn’t even seem to be leaving her out of breath. 

“Tighter.” She heard the command, not feeling it register until Carmilla leapt them into the air, throwing them inside of the empty freight car towards the front end, where they landed for a split second on Carmilla’s feet before being thrust forward into the wall. Laura had let go at the last second, causing herself to fly into the side of the steel and wood car. Hard. 

“Are you alright?” Carmilla said, immediately concerned, having heard how hard Laura’s body had been flung into the wall. 

Laura grunted, feeling nothing but piercing pain throughout her mid-section and right arm. It hurt so much she was dizzy, not fully registering Carmilla’s voice. 

“Shit. Laura? Laura where does it--” The pale face stopped when she saw Laura’s mangled arm, dangling at a painful angle. Judging from the whimpers coming from the small undergrad, she was deducing that some ribs had broken as well. 

“Uh. Carm. Ahh. I can’t.” Laura didn’t know if she was going to start crying, or throwing up, or both. She knew that she couldn’t move.

“Quick. Here.” Carmilla’s fangs appeared immediately, tearing quickly at her own wrist, holding the newly opened wound up to Laura’s mouth. 

The blonde’s eyes went wide in horror, even feeling sicker at the sight of blood coming directly towards her mouth. 

“Drink. I promise, it will make it better. It’ll hurt worse first, but then it’ll make it better.” Carmilla shoved the bloody wrist into Laura’s mouth before she could see what she was doing and have time to resist. 

Please drink. Please. Take it.

She waited until she felt Laura suction into the cut and start to suck, wrapping her arm around her, careful to only let her body touch the non-broken side, and placing her hand gently on the back of her head. 

“Okay, brace yourself, but keep drinking. When it hurts, it’s working.” Carmilla knew it would work, but still felt herself stiffen out of concern. 

Laura let out a muffled scream, but kept drinking, her face contorting with the pain of the bones in her body re-sorting themselves into their proper places and reattaching. Carmilla kept her wrist in place, stroking the soft hair beneath her free hand before placing her lips on her forehead. 

“It’ll be alright.” She soothed, noticing the whimpers died down, but Laura continued to suckle. The vampire knew that she didn’t need to keep drinking, but held onto her a bit longer, letting the smaller woman calm herself from the trauma, continuing to place cooling kisses on her hairline. 

Kissing Laura’s forehead one last time while taking in a deep breath, she slowly pulled her wrist away, wiping blood from the corner of her ex-girlfriend’s mouth before putting the wrist in her own, using her saliva to seal the wound. It immediately starts healing. 

“You-your blood can do that? You can just heal people?” Laura immediately asked. 

She had been surprised how sweet the taste of Carmilla’s blood was, how warm, and not at all unpleasant. She could feel it entering her body and her body immediately taking it in and putting its supernatural capacities to use. It made Laura wonder how many times Carmilla had done that, or if who had done it to her. 

“Yes, although I don’t make a habit of it, but the jump was my fault, so…”

“So vampires might not be these parasites that just eat people, but you can still help people too? Do you know how many people could be saved from your powers? Hospitals of people, sick and dying.” 

Of course, she jumps right back into this, Carmilla thought to herself, still attached to Laura at her side with her arm around her shoulder. 

“And you imagine what, exactly? Hospitals where people line up to feed off of my kind? And in return, what? We get blood donors? Humans all too happy to give up a meal’s worth in return for a future promise of being saved from what in most cases is natural selection working its wonders?” 

“I’m just saying that--”

“Laura, stop trying to find loopholes into making me a hero.” 

“You do understand that you literally just saved me.” Laura was only starting to fully become aware of Carmilla’s body against her, holding her, rubbing the side that was previously broken into bits. 

“Okay, I’m making it an official rule. Rule number one of this trip: Do not make me out into your storybook hero. I will always save you, but don’t think that I would ever stop and open up my veins for just anybody we pass who seems to be in some sort of pain or danger. In all other cases, I stay out of it.” 

Carmilla’s tone had become so serious that Laura knew she didn’t just share her blood; she had shared a secret about herself. 

“And also, I’m sorry that I hurt you.” In so many ways.

Laura shrugged into Carmilla’s embrace, feeling suddenly very tired, like her body had been the one to run up to and next to a speeding train, rather than just being along for the ride. 

“I can forgive you. Any other special vampire-power rules that I need to be aware of?”

“Yes, actually. We’re going to be on this train for awhile, so I should tell you there are going to be rules on this adventure, cupcake.” 

Laura rolled her eyes, but still snuggled up to Carmilla. Great. And we’re back to ‘cupcake’. Just when I thought we were maybe getting somewhere.

“Rule two: If I crouch down and as you to get on, get on immediately and hang on tighter than you think possible.”

“After what just happened, you think I’m going to agree to that?” 

“You need to understand that sometimes we might be in danger. My world is dangerous. If I need to change into my cat to get us out of somewhere, I will. I will keep you safe, but you need to work with me here.” 

Carmilla’s arm around Laura’s shoulder had become tighter and increasingly protective. She started to really wonder what she had gotten herself into, knowing even if the answer was ‘a march towards potential death’, she would still follow Carmilla—especially now after having her blood in her own body. 

“Third rule: if we are ever out somewhere with other Shadows, and you feel like you’re in danger and want me to get you out, look at me and blink twice, like this.” Carmilla tilted Laura’s head back, giving her two quick blinks as a demonstration. 

“Shadows?” Laura asked, blushing from her face again being within an inch of Carmilla’s mouth.

“That’s what we call ourselves. Vampires, super naturals that look like humans, other types of ‘creatures of the night’ if you will. You’re going to need to know our terms, not the antiquated fear-based terminology of human fantasies. If you want to stay safe where I’m taking you, it is important that you trust your gut and signal me if you feel that we need to leave somewhere. I will get us out, without question. I promise I will never make you feel bad about it.” 

“I—okay.” Laura was starting to get more afraid, but still comforted by the vampire’s arms around her, and confused by how painless but tired her body felt from Carmilla’s not-hero heroic act. 

Carmilla kissed the crown of her head, holding the soft, healed body into her warm side. 

“So…where exactly are you taking me?” 

“Home. Or, at least it was my home for a good hundred years, on and off. It’s kind of like a home base, where Shadows thrive.” Another kiss on Laura’s head. 

“Which is called…” Laura pressed, ever the journalist.

“It’s like New York.” 

“It’s like New York? Is it near New York?” 

“You could say that.” 

“Carm, I once interviewed the Principal of my high school for an hour and a half over the true ingredients of the cafeteria chicken nuggets for an article. I can do this all night.”

Carmilla smirked into the soft pile of hair under her nose. 

“Yes, it is near New York.” 

“How close?”

“Underneath. We’re going to my city—it exists directly underneath New York City.”


	3. Next Stop

Laura groaned, as Carmilla seemed to be pulling her onto yet another train. They had hopped from train to train, freight and passenger, and Laura had hoped that when they ended in Penn Station, taking the time to get Laura food and a stop to freshen up, that they were finished. They had travelled through the night and most of the next day, and it was becoming mentally numbing, especially when Carmilla answered most of her questions about where they were going with ‘you’ll see’. 

“I promise, last one.” Carmilla said. A train approached the subway platform, packed with travellers getting off and on in the rush hour commotion. Carmilla shot her arm across Laura, preventing her from boarding. 

“Not this one.” Laura nodded, staying still at the edge of the platform, following Carmilla’s lead to wait for the next one. The train left, and they immediately felt the tell-tale rush of air signaling another approach. 

“Wow, they come quick in this ci--”

“Now.” Carmilla said, all but grabbing Laura and throwing her into another train that had been moving so fast it clearly wasn’t planning to stop for passengers. How Carmilla got them through a doorway was beyond her, taking a moment to steady herself and glare at Carmilla for the lack of warning.

Laura was surprised at her lack of soreness, given how much time they had spent so far in less than comfortable travel accommodations, and how she had followed the many hours of travel with essentially being hurled from a train platform. 

Carmilla must have made this particular journey many times, always knowing exact what train was coming and when, aware of when there would be nobody checking tickets. Laura was suddenly getting anxious as she entered the subway car without noticing that this train was different than a normal subway car should look. 

Laura’s thoughts were running wild, taking a seat across from Carmilla inside of the Maroon wall-papered luxury cart on a velvet lined chair, only a small table with a lamp separating them. The car was dimly lit, only a few lamps on tables and a couple of what looked like gas lamps in the corners, and had red stripped carpeting. 

I am completely dependent on her. I have no idea where I am, or how to get back. I didn’t even bring my phone. I have my wallet, but no cash. I don’t even know how much is in my bank account, and this car looks really expensive—

“Red or dark red?” An attendant snapped her back to reality, standing by the table with two bottles. She hadn’t even noticed when he had put down the two wine glasses on the bare wooden table, Carmilla’s already filled with what she determined was the dark. 

“She’ll have red. Just plain red.” Carmilla said quickly, giving Laura a wink when she noticed her tense up. 

“Of course.” He poured a glass of wine, carrying on to the next table. Their surroundings were slowly falling into focus. She noticed curtains on the windows, all matching the Victorian era decorum. They weren’t alone, either. Most of the other passengers were either sitting alone and reading a newspaper, sipping their beverages, or in couples, chatting closely. A couple adjacent to them sharing a day bed in a cozy corner caught her eye, noticing they were getting very snuggly for a seemingly public setting. 

Carmilla could only smirk as Laura’s eyes went wide, sipping her “dark red”. It was delicious, causing her fangs to slightly elongate, deciding to stop Laura before her gawking became obvious. 

“That’s something you’re going to get used to.” Laura’s eyes immediately snapped from the couple, kissing and groping each other, back to Carmilla’s eyes, now completely black. If she wasn’t mistaken, her pupils looked more eloganted and oval than round.

“Is this—where are we? Is this some sort of, you know,” Laura leaned in closer, to the vampire’s delight, “sex train?” As soon as the words left her mouth, Laura lifted her glass of wine up and took a big gulp. 

Carmilla smirked, holding back her laugh. She took another long, luxourious sip of the dark red, giving the wine a moment to hit Laura’s system. 

“This train leads to my city, so this is a good way to ease you into the things you might see. They won’t have actual sex, but,” Carmilla paused a moment, letting them both hear the sounds of the couple panting, “I promise they will have no issues getting very intimate.” Carmilla ended the sentence with a snap of her teeth together, a suggestive bite that went over Laura’s head but still intimidated her.

Laura took another gulp of the wine, immediately regretting the choice of the train station hot dog cart as their dinner stop. She tried not to stare at the couple, but as the taller red haired woman laid the smaller blonde woman on her back, continuing their activities while laying between her legs as though they were not on a train with a dozen other people, she was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes off of them. 

“Laura, over here.” Carmilla brought her back, almost finished with her refreshment, taking another sip. 

Laura shook her head, trying to focus away from the passions occurring across the car. 

“What’s it called? The city we’re going to that’s under, well, the city.” Laura noticed that Carmilla looked refreshed, with two white points still visibly longer than the others in her grin. It intrigued her almost as much as the couple in the room. 

Carmilla shrugged, licking her lips. “Why name a place that is never spoken of?” 

“How does a city just not have a name?” Laura asked, thinking that Carmilla was just going to toy with her for the rest of the trip. 

“It just doesn’t. Laura, if we set up shop somewhere, we’re probably not planning on going away, maybe not ever. But you’re never going to see it on a map or as a stop from a bus station. You can’t seriously expect to Google ‘underground vampire city’. We don’t name cities that humans have no business being in, unless invited as a guest.” Carmilla put her hand on Laura’s, trying to keep her attention as a moan came from the couple on the day bed. 

It didn’t work, as Laura looked over just in time to see the larger woman pull back the smaller woman’s hair, carefully, even affectionately tying it up for her. She watched her lean in for another kiss, moving her head down the woman’s neck and then sinking her teeth into the smaller woman’s flesh in one swift movement. 

Laura gasped, with Carmilla squeezing her hand. 

“Shhh.” She warned, no longer stopping her from watching. Even with the dim lighting and less of a view than Laura had from her angle, she still knew exactly what the other feminine couple in the car was up to. 

“Carmilla.” Laura whispered out shakily, the hand her wine was in starting to shake, but leaving her other one grasping the older vampire’s. “She can’t just do that to someone.” Laura’s eyes darted around. Isn’t someone going to stop someone from eating their guest? Right out in the open? 

“Laura, she likes it.” 

Laura couldn’t stop herself from watching openly, seeing the woman who was being bled cradling the vampire on top of her like a lover, her jaw open in shock. If she hadn’t watched the teeth sink in a moment ago, they would have looked like any other young couple having a heavy make-out session. She was so engrossed in the public display that she didn’t notice Carmilla watching her with a smirk, simultaneously amused and fascinated by her innocence. 

It’s been so long since I’ve been ‘innocent’ about anything that I don’t even remember what it feels like, Carmilla thought, watching Laura react to every gasp from the human feeding her vampire. 

Laura watched the human’s face contort in ecstasy, gripping the vampire closer, holding the face into her neck. She did seem to be enjoying it. More than enjoying it—the woman appeared to be lingering on the edge of an orgasm, rolling her body in a rhythm into the undead form above her. She was running her hands through her vampire’s hair, over her back, then up to cup the back of the neck that was drinking from her own, also seemingly undisturbed by the close proximity of an audience.

The thought had Laura gulp down the last of her wine, trying to wrap her mind around what she was seeing. Was it normal for the prey to enjoy being prey? She broke her stare, looking back at Carmilla, searching for answers without words. 

“Relax, cupcake. That’s not what I brought you here for.” Her fangs and how retreated, her eyes not complete solid black any longer. She was back to being Carmilla. 

“Why are you showing me this?” 

“You’re going to see a lot of it. I’m easing you into it.” The young co-ed looked at Carmilla’s expression, deciding it was an acceptable mix of amusement and sincerity. 

“Anyway, she’s probably a neophyte. Anybody who’s been reborn for more than a decade can control their—hormonal urges, we’ll say, a lot better. While it’s something you’ll probably see out in the open here and there, nobody will blink an eye, but I still think it’s in poor taste. Call me old fashioned.” She added with a blink, causing Laura to blush.

Laura immediately felt at ease, listening to Carmilla’s thoughts made her feel less out of place, but still yearning to know so much more. 

“So…neophyte? Like a baby vamp?” Laura winced at the choice of words, while Carmilla laughed out loud. 

“Yes, something along those lines. When you’re re-born, it’s like being a teenager all over again. And if you were a teenager when you were rebirthed, then it lasts a lot longer than you were as a human. You’re hungry all the time, your sexual proclivities are constantly at the forefront of your mind, sometimes you think you’re invincible. It’s exciting and frustrating all at once.” 

Laura was happy to let out a relaxed laugh, the couple not even noticeable to her, focusing instead on how much less guarded Carmilla seemed at the moment. 

“Well, I wasn’t that kind of teenager, Carmilla Karnstein, so I wouldn’t know.” 

“Really, now?” The vampire asked, cocking a disbelieving eyebrow. “There’s a difference between feeling and acting. You never had any sort of youthful cravings?” 

“No, thank you very much. We weren’t all sex monkeys in training, hopping from booze house to booze house. I’ll have you know I was a nursing home volunteer. No animalistic cravings here.” Laura answered nervously, not even buying her own virginal story as it came flying out.

Laura noticed Carmilla was leaning in over the table, tilting her head so that the human would feel her breath skipping across her cheek as the words flowed into her ear. 

“Well, let me fill you in. It’s a feeling that you get when it seems like your body is pulling towards someone else’s, and they consume your thoughts. When you remember every item she wore when you first saw her or a scent you picked up as she breezed past you. You must know what I’m referring to. It’s when things start to tingle and tug, and suddenly it’s too warm to think clearly. If you could think clearly, it would be a waste, because the infatuation with all the new magnetism excites every cell in your body and heightens your senses until you can hear your own pulse and see your hunger.” 

Laura closed her eyes, letting the sounds being hushed into her ear overtake her. “It’s when you don’t know how or when the pull will be satisfied, but you know who you want to do it, so you do everything you can to get closer. It’s when even a slight brush against your arm or a look from across the room shoots down your spine. It’s when you know you need it to feel alive.” 

Laura let her mouth open, letting Carmilla grasp the hair at the base of her neck. She couldn’t move, immobilized by the vampire’s close proximity as much as the words being spoken.

“And it’s like that all the time.” Laura gasped, her chest flushing as Carmilla released her grasp. 

The train stopped and Carmilla stood up, offering her hand to Laura, visibly affected by the interaction. The couple across the way seemed not to notice, continuing their activities, even with the noise of passengers getting off around them. 

“Welcome to the city that has no name.” Carmilla winked, pulling them off at their stop.


	4. Arrival

Carmilla pulled them off of the train to a station inside of what looked like a hastily carved rounded cave. There were four tunnels from which to choose, none of which were marked, but all were clearly lit through by flame torches at the entrances and every twenty pace through. 

“This one—and stay close.” Carmilla said, pulling them to the fourth cave entrance on the far right. 

“I thought we’d check in to the tavern, and then I could show you around.” Carmilla said casually, as if they had just arrived at a weekend bed and breakfast, not the vampiric epicenter of North America. 

“Oh—okay.” Laura stammered, noticing that the cave hallway was taking them even deeper underground. She started to feel panic, a claustrophobia she’d never experienced before making her feel like she was walking into a crypt. It didn’t help that it was a tight tunnel, forcing them to stay close if they wanted to continue side-by-side.

“So, there’s a vampire tavern down here?” Laura hoped her intonation implied her worries about what may be consumed inside without having to actually vocalize it. 

Carmilla snorted, putting her arm around Laura, feeling the smaller woman stiffen as her hand went to her waist. 

“Everyone drinks from actual glasses. Or mugs. Vampire’s honor.” Carmilla holds up two fingers in a peace sign. “Besides, anywhere we go will have something for you. Rooms are always open for shadows and their guests. And you’re my guest, so I guess you can consider yourself lucky, cutie.” 

I’m sharing a room with Carmilla. We’re not even a couple, and I just let her sweet talk me into coming here, I keep letting her touch me, I can’t even buy my own drinks because I didn’t think about if there would be a Blood Bank ATM or whatever they use down here.

“Snap out of it Hollis. I promised I’d keep you safe. I mean it.” Carmilla breezed out, continuing down the long, dimly lit tunnel. None of the other passengers off the train had taken this path. Laura noticed that while her voice in the cave had a slight echo, Carmilla’s had none at all. 

“I didn’t even stop for cash.” 

“Everywhere takes Visa. Please try to relax.” Carmilla removed her hand, as they had come to a heavy looking wooden door at the end of the tunnel. 

“This leads us right out into the city center. Ready?” 

Laura nods, suddenly wishing Carmilla’s arm was back around her waist. She swears the vampire takes delight in opening the door more slowly and dramatically than necessary, following the dark haired woman through. 

They step out into a cobblestone street, with what look like town houses and shops lining each side, with a river running through the center, small boats and gondolas running up and down. It looked like a gorgeous old world city, with the shop lights in the night sparkling, and only a moderate hussle-and-bussle on the street. There are people laughing as they come in and out of buildings, sometimes stopping to chat with one another. 

Laura froze on the spot, taking it all in. What really took her breath away was the sky. It was an honest to goodness night sky, in a periwinkle blue hue with actual stars. 

“Laura?” Carmilla asked, having given the woman a moment to acclimate, hoping that her ears wouldn’t feel the pressure too much of being this far underground. 

“It’s beautiful. How?” She can only point up, entrapped by the gorgeous sky, even though she knew they had travelled in the tunnel downwards. 

“Some warlocks figure that one out, only a few decades ago.” Laura continued to gawk at the beauty of her surroundings. If she had been blindfolded and brought down to the city center and then presented with the scene before her, she never would have guessed it was full of…what did Carmilla call them? Shadows? Everything looked so normal. 

“Okay, we need to start walking. The tavern’s a bit of a hike and you know, underground, so we don’t have cars.” Carmilla returned her arm to around Laura’s waist as she continued moving them along. They walked close to the water on the cobblestone, with Laura peeking into the little shops. They didn’t appear to have fire torches like the tunnel had. 

“You use electricity?” Laura asked, still in awe of her surroundings.

“We borrow it—you know what we’re under, right? Why do you think their utility bills are so expensive?” Laura couldn’t tell if Carmilla were kidding or not, amazed that some of the shops appeared to have regular food. A bakery, a restaurant where the clientele were using forks and knives, comforting her that there would be an availability of bloodless meals. Unless they were eating people—

“Five dollars for thirty minutes! Would the ladies like a ride?” A boat captain was docked where they were walking by, offering a ride under the artificial moonlight. 

“I would like a ride.” Laura said, amazed at the entire underground river that she didn’t know existed until three minutes ago. 

“No thank you! No ride needed.” Carmilla rushed them past, pulling Laura closer. 

“Laura, I want you to make sure you never, ever get on one of those boats without me with you.”

“Why?”

“We’re not up to that explanation yet, and you need to promise--”

“Okay! No underground boat rides.” 

“Good.” Carmilla said simply, taking them past a clothing store with a wide variety of looks being showcased in the windows. 

“So, there are like, vampire designers that live here?” Laura had a hard time wrapping her head around a vampire hunched over a sewing machine making this season’s bloodsucker couture. 

“Ha! If only. Cutie, as tame as I may be around you, remember that we exist as parasites. In every possible way. You know that we’re not too far from JKF International Airport?”

“Yeah?”

“And you know how sometimes travellers’ luggage goes missing between connecting flights?” 

Laura paused for a moment, sure she should be horrified, but broke into a smile and a laugh. Carmilla joined her, happy to see Laura enjoying herself. 

“Yeah, that’s us.” Carmilla said, continuing them down the street. 

“Oh. My. Goodness. Carmilla. So you steal electricity, luggage from innocent, unsuspecting travellers…anything else?” 

“Yes. And look, we’re here.” Carmilla says, opening the door to the tavern and deliberately not answering Laura’s question with any explanations. 

The younger woman was surprised at how nice the inside was, looking more like a hotel than anything she would have associated with the word ‘tavern’. The decorations again were Victorian era, similar to the train they had rode on, with the entrance leading to a check-in desk, not a bar. 

Carmilla’s protective arm was keeping Laura’s side glued to her own, as she approached the desk. 

“One room please, private bath, breakfast included-all options, and four drink tokens.” She takes out a small stack of credit cards held together with a money clip with a red crest on the top, pulling a black card out from the middle. 

It did indeed say “Visa” in the corner, but the logo was in red with a little blood drop coming down from the “V”. Laura looked up at her escort questioningly. 

“What? Money is money. Don’t pretend you’ve never heard of credit card companies as ‘bleeding people dry’. American Express makes one for us too, but I like the rewards points.” 

Laura laughed, her head resting on Carmilla’s cheek, letting her finish the transaction. 

Why didn’t I just run away with her like this when I had the chance? Why couldn’t we have met like this, instead of in the middle of a disappeared persons report?

Once they were upstairs, Laura noticed immediately that there was only one bed, choosing not to comment, instead looking at the canopy over the lavish covers. There was no television, but there was a fireplace. It was perfectly warm in the room, so she couldn’t imagine anyone actually trying to light a fire. 

She walked over to the dresser, noticing a room service menu neatly typed on watermarked paper from what was clearly a typewriter, not a computer. 

“Let’s see, they have a European blend, a French specialty—Maybe this is a wine list? Chilean twenty year, from all organic, vegetarian fed…” Laura’s face fell. 

“Yeah. Not a wine list. This one’s yours.” Carmilla pulled the paper out of Laura’s hands, replacing it with something more palatable. 

“Carmilla, what are we doing here?” Laura stopped, part way through reading the menu. She both wanted to step away from Carmilla at the sudden reminder that the vampire could have her as an evening snack, and wanted to step closer because even if that were true, it was Carmilla. 

“Hmm?” Carmilla was still reading her menu, trying to decide if they should skip dinner altogether and head down to cash in their drink tokens. 

“Us. What are we doing. This is a lot less like a regular ‘getting to know you’ and feels more like—I don’t know, some kind of nineteenth century vampire honeymoon?” 

Carmilla didn’t look up from the paper. That is the question, isn’t it? What on earth am I doing with you.

“Laura, I want you to think about something before I even answer that. If you decided to back out now, and go upstairs, way upstairs into the human city and catch a plane home, would you honestly just be able to do it and forget any of this happened?” Carmilla looked up from the paper, her eyes staring right into a hazel, lighter set, staring right back. 

Laura thought about it for a moment. Could she just go back to a mundane, regular, everyday life? Could she finish college and pretend that she didn’t know that vampires and supernatural creatures exist? Would the deep seeded need inside of her to know everything and investigate and go deeper down the rabbit hole ever subsist now that it had been awakened?

“No.” Laura said firmly. “But where are we in all of this?” 

Carmilla sighed. Right. That. Laura was confronting head on what they had been avoiding: their not-togetherness, yet their complete ease at wanting to be together, knowing how it was right and wrong in a way that cancels each other out, causing nothing to move forward, stuck in the in-between. 

“I could just be taking you here to drink from you, Cupcake.” Laura gasped as Carmilla took a step closer. 

“I could make you feel like that woman on the subway, except so much more because my blood is still going to be in your system for a few days, so you would feel even more than she.” Another step closer. 

“I could do that, or I could just seduce you. I could release my pheromones that humans find irresistible, and draw you back in.” They were nose to nose now, with Laura keenly aware that they were at the foot of a bed. 

“I can’t do that to you, Laura. We’re here because I know your life; I lived with you. But here’s the thing: you don’t really know me. You don’t know how I live, how I need to live.” She moves her hand up to cup Laura’s cheek, watching her struggle to keep her eyes open while leaning into her firm touch. 

“And I won’t kiss you. I can’t, until I know you’ve seen enough and you know enough for it to be a decision, not just a desire. We’ve already visited that part of it.” Carmilla paused, hoping Laura would get it. 

“I kind of want you to, though.” Laura said, holding Carmilla’s gaze. 

“I know.” Was the vampire’s response, holding Laura’s cheek, kissing her forehead instead of indulging in ill-thought out acts of passion. “But there’s a lot more you need to know before you decide if this is just going to be a story that ends up in a book you write some day, or if it’s actually going to be a part of your life. Because it will be, Laura. If there’s any ‘us’ in the future, these are the kinds of places and the kinds of things you’re going to have to deal with.” 

Laura thought about everything she’s seen so far. None of it was terribly off-putting. Sure, she knew that Carmilla drank blood, but she also knew from late night conversations when they were dating that she didn’t need to kill someone to feed, to the point where it had disappointed Laura that when she offered, Carmilla declined to drink from her body. 

She was also not upset by her surroundings. It looked like any other village or small city, except breathtakingly beautiful. If she could get past having a girlfriend who ate people, this wasn’t such a bad set-up. Sure, they’d have to sneak around, she’d have to do a whole lot of lying to her father about Carmilla’s little quirks. But really, it would be fine. 

Or at least she thought, until she heard the screaming start from down the hallway.


	5. Unsettled

“Don’t.” Carmilla warned with one word, Laura’s hand freezing on the doorknob. 

Anger flashed through her eyes for a moment, looking up at the vampire. It wasn’t anger at being warned that whatever was on the other side of the door to their room was probably bad news. It was more anger at the level of control that she knew Carmilla had over her. 

“I don’t know where I am. I have no cell coverage, no cash.” Laura looked over her shoulder for a moment before popping the door open a crack, still hearing a man’s voice shouting. “You’re not also telling me what to do.” 

Laura stepped out in a huff, determined to find the root of the sound, leaving too quickly to see the vampire roll her eyes and follow, staying a few steps back. She followed the sounds down the hall, turning right down a long, dimly lit hallway, seeing a room at the end with no door--simply with a velvet rope covering two heavy, velvet maroon curtains. 

You can do this, Hollis. It’s just a little investigation. Now that I know there’s something to find, I have to find it. 

Laura slowed her steps down, trying to step quietly, not even sure if she were walking towards a public space or somewhere that was supposed to be off limits. Closer to the entrance to the strange room, she could hear more between the shouts. 

“Again!” She heard, followed by another shout. “Again!” came out a second time, followed by another shout. 

Carmilla stayed behind Laura, who was hesitating in actually peeking through the curtains. Her hand hovered over the split in the center, daring herself to pull it open when a pale hand shot up to cover her own. 

“Remember: just because you see an image, it doesn’t mean you know the whole story.” Carmilla warned, pausing for a reaction. 

Laura swallowed and nodded. She was going to find the source of the screams, and Carmilla was going to let her. The pale hand stayed on her own pinkish cream fingers, waiting, letting her decide. 

When she finally had the resolve to peek into the room, she found there was a young man, older than her but still with a boyish face, on his knees facing to the right. 

She gave him a look over. The screams had stopped, and he was panting. He wore a white free-flowing shirt and seventeenth century style brown britches, with his long hair tied back. Laura realized she was looking at any and everything to avoid looking at the whiplash marks that had torn the back of his shirt with blood starting to seep through the slashes. 

His hands were tied behind his back with a rope, although it didn’t look as though it was tied with any particular knot, or tightly enough for him not to plan an escape, but he was clearly in the middle of being tortured. 

The college girl froze, not making a sound, not sure if she were even breathing. Carmilla was holding her breathe as well, having had some sort of idea as to what they were about to see before Laura even pulled back the curtain. 

“Not the whole story.” Carmilla whispered again, staying behind Laura, keeping her hand on the smaller woman’s as the both peered inside. 

Laura couldn’t respond. She couldn’t even nod as she watched the man, breathing heavy on his knees. She opened the curtain a slight bit more, peeking around the room. She saw what could have been an old dining room, or perhaps some sort of lounge, but clearly not in use as it was devoid of any furniture to sit on. There were still candelabras on five different end tables, all light, providing the light in the room, and the far corner and old pianoforte. 

It was only when her eyes reached the back end of the room by the pianoforte that she noticed the man was not alone. 

The woman in the room looked less than pleased to be there, holding a whip that was fraying, clearing not having its first day in use. 

“Again!” The man shouted. 

“Haven’t you had enough?” The woman asked, horrified at what was her eyes were seeing, what she herself had done. 

“I can feel it healing already. Again!” Laura saw the woman pull the whip back, ready to let out another blow, and dropped the curtain back to closed, drawing the line at how much she would allow herself to see. 

She turned slowly around to Carmilla, her confusion and disgust written all over her face. She didn’t know what to ask, or even what to say. She knew nobody would intervene. She had learned that after watching a feeding on the train, and it didn’t sit well with her. She looked up at Carmilla, who had been studying her expression intently, still in too much shock to even formulate a question. 

___________________________________________________________

Laura sat across from Carmilla at the hotel restaurant, not fully cognizant of how she got there. 

She vaguely remembered Carmilla walking them back to their room, putting her arm around her and guiding her along, not remembering anything being said along the way. She had a slight memory of Carmilla trying to get her to talk, only able to answer in short one-word answers. 

One of the incoherent “yes” answers must have been to going to the dining room, and upscale white tablecloth establishment that Laura surely would have been impressed with if she weren’t just barely coming out of a shock-induced haze. She saw through her mental fog Carmilla having some sort of conversation with the server, not really listening, until a shot of something brown with what looked like specs of green in it appeared in front of each of them. 

“Laura.” Carmilla coaxed, getting the woman to at least look at her. “Drink it. Trust me.” 

Laura barely nodded, picking up the tiny beverage, and shooting it back. It was clearly some sort of liquor, but there was sweetness to the burn. It jolted her back into awareness, like a slap with an aftertaste. 

“What is that?” She asked, causing Carmilla to grin. 

A whole sentence from the creampuff. We’re making progress.

“Fig and Plum liquor with digestive bitters. It’ll help you get your appetite.” 

“Oh.” Laura said, peering down at the empty shot glass. It was actually quite nice. She wouldn’t be opposed to another. 

“You can ask me anything.” Carmilla said, careful to keep her face neutral, knowing exactly where Laura’s line of questioning would go. Suddenly, the color was back in the younger woman’s face. 

“If I don’t know the whole story, Carmilla, then what is the story? What the hell did I just see?” Laura said, more aggressively than she meant it to sound. “Is that why I’m here? So vampires can do nasty things to me?” 

“When I said you don’t know the whole story, it’s not because--”

“Because, what? You’ll woo me down here with your charm and fancy restaurant, and before I know it I’ll just open up my veins in a subway or beg you whip me?”

“Laura, no--”

“Because there is one part of this story that I do know: some of this is fucked up, Carm.”

“He’s the vamp.”

“I can’t believe I just let you lead me where ever, God I’m so stupid--”

“Laura! He. Is. The. Vampire.” Carmilla said again, forcefully letting the sentence stick this time. Laura flinched. 

“And the woman with the whip?” She asked, somewhat disbelieving. 

“Human.” Laura instinctively reached for the breadbasket in the middle, pulling out a roll and starting to rip pieces with her fingers to shove into her mouth while processing this new piece of information. 

The dark haired woman was more than pleased to see Laura eating, knowing the shock had fully passed, even though she had been stunned back into speechlessness. 

“When you’re first turned, and the idea of being immortal isn’t just a theory anymore but your reality, there’s a phase that most of us go through. It’s not enough to be told by whoever rebirthed you that now you can live through almost anything, but sometimes—you have to push it. You have to experience all of the things that you used to be so afraid of to see that you’re above it now. That includes physical sensations. I’m not sure if I’m saying this correctly, I’ve never actually attempted to vocalize this before.” 

Laura was listening intently, paused mid-chew. 

“The man asking to be hit, that was the vampire. Fine, I get that. But doesn’t it still hurt?” 

“Not like it would hurt you. It’s like a little sting. And you start healing right away. It would be more in line with if I hit you with a plastic bottle, but it happened to cause little marks that stung and you healed from. It’s surreal, especially when it’s new.” 

“So you’re not worried about him at all?” 

“Of course I am. If he’s truly a neophyte, he might not be aware of just how much he needs to eat either before or after his adventures to keep himself alright. But if I truly thought he looked like he was going to bleed out and hadn’t eaten, I would have stepped in.” Carmilla tried to reassure, wanting more than anything for Laura to understand.

“This—phase, that new vampires go through. You’re not only talking about other people, are you?” Laura asked, taking full advantage of being offered the chance to ask anything. 

“Yes, but I was never a whip kind of girl.” Carmilla winked, getting a smile out of Laura. “If you learned suddenly that you could walk on hot coals, and every time you would be fine, wouldn’t you do it a few times? Of course you would. But after a few times, the novelty wears off, and after testing your limits you can move on.” 

“That sounds…completely reasonable.” Laura said, taking a big bite out of her roll, staring off in thought. 

“Anyway, I was more fascinated with knives. I remember in that first year I would carve intricate patterns, barely feeling a thing. I once did a full oak tree on my thigh one night, out of pure boredom and artistic craving. I had a lovely scar for about twenty minutes, before I realized that I would continue on forever, and my piece would disappear before anyone could see it.” 

Laura tried to wrap her head around the beauty of Carmilla creating a piece of art, assuming it was complicated and beautiful, just like Carmilla was herself, but then also have it be something she did to harm her own flesh. 

“You never showed anyone?” Laura asked, taking the vampire by surprise. 

“Who would I have shown?” She answered sadly, interrupted by a plate being dropped in front of each of them. 

“First course: Olive and Tomato Bruschetta.” He said, nodding and leaving the pair to themselves. 

Laura peered down at the small plate with literally one slice of crostini and a small pile of bruschetta on top. 

I hope the first course is followed by ten more, if we’re being served one bite at a time. She picked hers up, seeing Carmilla taking a small bite of hers, moaning in satisfaction. 

“Mmm. Perfect. That is how olive oil should taste.” She looked up a Laura. “Try it.” 

Laura took a bite, agreeing. It was indeed delicious, and then gone far too quickly. 

“So, while I wasn’t paying attention, did you by any chance order from the menu for very tiny vampires?” She asked Carmilla, who laughed, having to put down her last bite, covering her mouth. 

“We don’t need food to live. We eat it because it’s delicious and enjoyable.” Laura looked around, noticing every table had tiny plates with tiny portions. “Don’t worry, they will keep bringing out courses until we call for dessert. Just enjoy.” 

“So vampires eat food, but in tiny portions.” 

“Of course. Why do you think French restaurants always serve courses in miniature?”

“Because they’re vampires?” Laura asked laughing, sure it was a joke. After a moment, she noticed Carmilla wasn’t laughing along. 

“A disproportionate percentage of the population.” Was Carmilla’s serious reply. 

“Second course: Salmon Dijonnaise”. The server had swiftly pulled back Laura’s first, empty plate, replacing it with a serving of Salmon no bigger than a pack of gum, and a single dollop of mashed potatoes. 

Laura looked up at Carmilla. 

“It’s going to be a long night.” The young woman said in a deadpan, causing the vampire to snort out her laugher.


	6. Dark of Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is the last chapter I'm adding in for today. Please be patient while I migrate works over to this site now that I'm in AO3! I will keep adding in the chapters that are already written as I can. Don't worry, I'm usually pretty quick :)  
> Also--it looks like italics aren't translating over from my original docs, so I'm sticking thoughts between signs.

The light peering into the room through the gap in the curtains had Laura staring out at the artificial sky in wonder. She never would have known that they were underground from just this image, right down to the stars actually appearing to twinkle, not looking like any sort of lighting fixture. 

>

The light was just enough for Laura to watch Carmilla sleep. The dark haired vampire didn’t make a sound, not even to breath, but her chest still rose and fell as though there were breath involved in the process. 

Laura knew it was possibly a little creepy to just lay awake, watching someone sleep, but she couldn’t help herself. When they had finally gotten back to their room after hours of nibbling and laughing and Carmilla telling her a few tidbits about what was around the city to keep her excited, she had forgotten all about the earlier horrors of which she had seen a glimpse. 

Carmilla, of course, had simply passed out. She mused that the vampire must have exhausted herself in the last couple of days, ready to crash, barely even saying “goodnight” before she was out on the right side of the bed. Laura had climbed into the left side afterwards, realizing that she had no idea what time they had returned to the room. 

>

Even though Carmilla had crashed and in doing so declared it an unofficial bedtime, Laura was tired but too excited from all of the new information that her brain was attempting to process. She got up quietly to peer out the window, taking a moment to appreciate the irony of having a seventh floor bird’s eye view of a street while technically being underground. 

She felt somewhat closer to Carmilla than ever before. It was one thing to hear little nuggets of a story about Carmilla’s past in conversation; it was another to see things with her own eyes. Laura remembered that the point was supposed to be so she could ‘make a decision’. 

What exactly did that mean? A decision about if Carmilla was staying in her life? In what way? Would she want a relationship? Would she want to drink from her? 

>

On the street below, it was still as busy as when they had first arrived hours ago. It seemed there really wasn’t an official nighttime in a city where it’s always night. There were lots of people shuffling about, and Laura realized she was just assuming they were all vampires, but how could she know? 

Were some of them also humans? When did they sleep? 

She started to think back to Carmilla staying up all night back in the dorms. Maybe she was simply just used to sleeping whenever she wanted, not a slave to the rhythms of the planets. 

She noticed the old man at the helm of the gondola was still docked, attempting to entice travellers into a ride, but to no avail. 

What is so terrible about a boat ride?

“Are you alright?” Laura heard sleepily being mumbled behind her from the bed. 

“Yeah. I’m just trying to take it all in.” She turned around, seeing Carmilla barely peeking her eyes open, hair falling in her face. She watched the vampire shift back, making room on the side of the bed and hold out her hand. 

Laura found herself smiling and taking the hand, allowing herself to be coaxed back to bed, happy to share Carmilla’s side rather than return to her own. 

“I promise, we’re not even close to having seen everything for you to take in, and you’re going to need to get some sleep.” Carmilla was speaking with her eyes closed, keeping her hand in Laura’s between their tired bodies.

Laura found it adorable, really. The way Carmilla mumbled when she was sleepy. The way she had been patient, as every step of their journey since they first leaped onto a moving train had been new to Laura, never once acting like it was a burden to explain something. The way she had given away little parts of her own past, simply by sharing the vampire world with her. 

“I can feel you still being awake, you know.” Carmilla mumbled, but sounding more playful than truly annoyed. 

“I know. It’s because I am.” Laura swore she could see a little smile in the darkness. 

“You really do need rest, Laura. We haven’t slept in almost a full day.” 

“Why doesn’t anyone want to ride the boat outside?” 

Carmilla grumbled. Her plans of gently convincing Laura to come back to bed and then going right to sleep were clearly thwarted by the younger woman’s overactive mind. 

“It goes through a very sad part of the city. It would be a long time before I would even think about taking you there. You might not still even want to be here by then.” Carmilla’s eyes crack open, dark orbs gazing upwards. “It’s only been a day.” 

“I guess a day can feel like a lifetime. Why is it…sad?” Laura lay still next to the vampire, even though she wanted to put her hand—anywhere, really. On another, paler hand, her arm, or her waist. She knew Carmilla still had to care for her or they wouldn’t be here, but she tried not to push Carmilla too fast. Instead she played with Carmilla’s necklace, a little trinket of a crest with crossed swords and a shield. 

Huh. I’ve never noticed this one before. 

Carmilla’s hand grabbed Laura’s, stilling the nervous playing. 

“Laura, I am undead. I have outlived every friend I ever made as a human, my entire family…entire countries have changed and shifted. Some of this reality is extraordinarily morose. I’ve been trying to keep you from seeing the sad parts just yet.” Carmilla thought back to the neophyte trying to whip himself into feeling like he used to feel. “Somewhat unsuccessfully.” 

“Carm, you don’t have to hide things.” 

Carmilla tried to remember what it was like when she was young, and still human, and full of curiosity about such things. The curiosity that lead her to ask the same questions. The point where she knew too much to simply go back and pretend she didn’t know that Shadow creatures existed. 

The point where she asked to be turned. Re-born. A decision she had made, not an outcome that was forced upon her. It was not the outcome she was hoping for in showing Laura her life. But if it ever came to that, what would she say? 

“I’m not. I’m just trying to introduce things in small increments. Responsibly.” Laura smiled. 

“Ever the protector.” 

“I thought we said rule number one was--”

“Stop it.” Laura said, watching Carmilla’s gaze snap up, dark eyes locking onto hazel. “You’re not in charge of everything.” 

The vampire froze, letting Laura’s hand move from her golden crest up to her cheek. 

“You’re not the only one who’s going to be making decisions here. There are two of us.” 

Laura paused for a moment, giving Carmilla the chance to argue. When there was no protest, she swooped down, softly pressing her lips into the vampire’s mouth. She felt the two soft, thin lips immediately pressing back, a hand moving to the small of her back. 

She pressed into those lips again and again, never pressing too hard, still half expecting the vampire beneath her to push her away. She let her mouth melt into Carmilla’s warmth, any sense of their conversation pushed to the back of her mind. Laura let all of her thoughts, questions, musings, doubts—everything fall away, just feeling the woman beneath her who was returning her kisses with equal softness and full attention.

'She’s kissing me back' was all Laura could think over and over, letting herself get lost in the night.


	7. Trickster

“Would you like a beer?” Carmilla asked, Laura still taking in her surroundings. 

It seemed the ‘tavern’ they had checked into did indeed have, well, a tavern. Laura was having trouble believing they were even in the same building as where their room was. It was loud, with a live music band playing in the background, tables of groups laughing, a packed bar, barmaids trying to fill pints and mugs faster than the requests seem to be pouring in. It was also the only place Laura had been so far that was well-lit, giving her full view of the pale bodies up and dancing a jig towards the band. 

She noticed people of all different sizes, ages as well, ranging from what looked like late teens to late fifties, although she was aware that if they were vampires then it merely marked the age they became vamps. For all she knew, the fellow who looked eighteen dancing a jig with expertise could actually be a thousand and twelve.

It was clicking in Laura’s head that they had only been awake for less than an hour. 

“Laura. Would you like a beer, or were you considering jigging instead?” Carmilla asked, snapping Laura out of her internal monologue. 

“For breakfast?” Laura asked, scoffing in Carmilla’s general direction. 

“Does it matter? They’ll bring out food too. Do you want one?” 

“Is it still morning?” Laura asked, still somewhat bewildered by the conversation they were having so soon after waking. 

Laura had woken up in a happy haze, after kissing Carmilla the night before. She didn’t know what it meant, or when they would ever do it again, but it made her feel good. However, Carmilla had ignored what happened from the moment they woke up, intent on carrying into the next day without addressing it. 

And now, they were standing at a bar at vampire-o’clock-in-the-whatever, as far as Laura could tell, as she still had yet to see a clock anywhere in this place, contemplating beer for breakfast. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, pointing to the mugs behind the barmaid, then holding up two fingers. The woman nodded, filling two at a time at the taps. 

“It never has to be morning if you don’t want it to be.” Carmilla handed her a mug, grabbing Laura and dragging her to a wooden table. 

The young woman realized that she was game, and was fine with living for another moment in eternal night. She didn’t even miss the sunlight, something that used to be a must-have to start her day. 

Carmilla was looking around the room, apparently looking for something specific. Laura turned her head, looking around as well, not sure what she was supposed to see. It was crowded, but if the vampire was searching for a table, there were a few open to choose from. A pair of dark eyes darted through the room, bouncing from table to table, intoxicated dancer to dancer, before settling on a table in the far corner where a blond man and a white haired woman sat, clearly having had a few breakfast beers already. 

“Over there.” Carmilla’s hand was around Laura’s waist before she could question it, guiding her expertly through the crowd with only minimal drink spillage. When they arrived at the table, the two fair skinned occupants lit up with wide, gaping smiles. 

“Kitten!” They both exclaimed, raising their glasses in a toast, clearly excited to see Carmilla. 

Laura was surprised to see Carmilla smiling back. A genuine, wide smile. Not her snarky side-smirk of buttoned up emotional repression. It was a smile that made a warmth bubble back up in Laura’s chest. 

“Have you two even moved since the last time I was here?” They stood up to happily greet the vampire, shaking by locking hand to forearm, first with the light-haired man, then the woman. Now that they were at the table, Laura noticed they both had scars on their right eyebrow, like a slash mark from a giant claw. 

“Oh, you know, here and there…only if there’s trouble to stir.” Laura immediately noticed the accent from the man as he spoke. Norwegian, she was guessing, or perhaps Swedish. She couldn’t quite place her finger on it. They all sat, with Carmilla guiding Laura to a spot next to her. 

“And what did the cat drag in?” The small woman with the white hair asked, looking right at Laura, still grinning. 

“This is my…”

“Laura. I’m Laura.” She saved Carmilla from having to finish that sentence, partially out of fear that she would end it with something like ‘friend’, in spite of the fact that they had kissed themselves silly last night, only stopping when neither of them had the energy to hold their heads up. 

“Well, I like ‘your Laura’ already.” The woman said, as Laura had taken a cue from how they greeted Carmilla and shook the woman’s hand with the forearm grip, and then the man. 

“Laura, these are my friends, Kristian and Kristanna.” 

“You can call me Kris.” They both said in unison. 

“You have friends?” Laura asked, immediately wanting to slap herself at how it came out. 

Everyone else at the table laughed, with the dark-haired woman sideways glancing at Laura through her laughing fit. 

“Yes, Laura, I have friends.” 

“This kitten?” Kris and Kris looked at each other, breaking out into another round of laughter.

“I would say she’s the un-life of the party.” Blond Kris answered, immediately knowing that this woman Carmilla had appeared with out of nowhere must be fairly new to the vampire’s long life. 

“She’s never been to one of my parties, you two, she doesn’t know any better. Then again, I haven’t thrown one in about ninety years…” 

“Ah, that’s why she’s still sitting next to you! She’s never seen you in full form, hmm?” The man was still grinning. 

“I promise, she’s seen some of my forms.” Carmilla said suggestively, winking in Laura’s general direction, before they all started laughing again. 

“Are you vampires?” Laura blurted out suddenly, wishing she could somehow filter what was coming out of her mouth, but then realizing that if Carmilla was going to feed her beer for breakfast, she was going to have to deal with it. 

“Vampires?” The two said, starting a new round of laughter. “How boring!” The man answered. “That’s no fun at all! I don’t know how you even stand it, Carmilla!” 

“Ya! It’s all brooding, and creeping around at night, hunting for food and hoping nobody sees your fangs. No fun.” Female Kris answered. It was then that Laura noticed on the table that the two had been playing all sorts of games before they had sat with them. There were what appeared to be old, strange versions of chess, checkers, a deck of cards, a board game that Laura didn’t recognized but with little pieces that clearly showed something in progress. 

Right. I guess shadow-whatevers like to have fun too.

“No fun at all.” Male Kris agreed. 

“So you’re human?” She asked, feeling more comfortable with the strange couple. At the very least, they were very friendly, and Laura was becoming less and less concerned about being eaten while in this strange city with Carmilla. 

The two looked at each other for a split second before bursting out into laughter again. As they laughed, Laura noticed their cheeks becoming rosy-red, like paintings of little children, only they appeared to be the same age as Carmilla. 

“That’s even less fun!” The Kris’s explained. 

“No, no, no, no.”

“Human! Ha! I couldn’t even remember what that was like, yah?”

“With the boring jobs, and the boring sleeping at night…”

“No fun at all!” 

Carmilla just let them laugh and smiled at the exchange, putting her hand on Laura’s back, circling while smiling down at the woman’s innocence. 

“Kris and Kris are necromancers.” She said, pausing for a reaction. She looked up at the two, who smiling and nodding. 

“Oh.” Laura said, having no idea what that meant. She looked at Carmilla blankly, hoping she wouldn’t have to vocalize yet again her complete inexperience in these matters. 

“Awww, kitten’s kitten is confused. Let Kris explain!” Female Kris said, as her brother reached down into a bag at the side of the table, pulling out a small marionette of a green and purple court jester doll, attached to the control stick with strings. 

“It’s like this: you see how we can make the arms move, and the legs.” He had the small jester walk across the table, dancing on the chessboard, doing the same jig that the people on the actual dance floor in the tavern were doing. Laura nodded. 

“Yes. This is what we can do.” He said, nodding at Laura, who still looked confused. 

“So, you’re like a puppeteer?” Laura asked, smiling back at the happy Nordic pair. 

“Exactly!” The both said. Carmilla leaned over to whisper in Laura’s ear. 

“But with dead people.” She said, watching Laura’s face fall. She didn’t know how to respond to that, but it wasn’t want she was expecting. 

“Relax, cupcake. They usually only do it with skeletons. It’s like an elaborate, ongoing prank that they seem to never think gets old.” Carmilla said, keeping her hand rubbing Laura’s back, trying to keep her calm. The vampire had been friends with the pair since the mid-nineteeth century, although she had only had an interest in introducing them to someone she cared about once, and that was a long time ago.

“It never gets old! It is always fun!” Female Kris answers, now playing with her own marionette. 

“They like to scare people with dancing skeletons. They think it’s hilarious.” 

“Oh. So…that’s what you guys do for fun around here?” Laura asked cautiously, no longer feeling like she had the social skills to understand how to carry on this conversation. 

Necromancers. They control dead bodies—for shits and giggles?

“It’s not always about the bodies! There are lots of ways for us to have fun with people. We just like to have a laugh—little tricks or treats! Nobody gets hurt.” Female Kris continued. 

“They like to play pranks.” Carmilla says, sitting down with a basket of hot pretzels. Laura was shocked for a moment. 

I didn’t even see her get up. Was that her vampire speed? How much have I had to drink?

“One time, we were in Chicago right after people started buying cars in droves. It was the next hottest thing for families to have a car, and more and more places started building parking lots.” Carmilla started telling the story. 

“Yah! This is a fun one!” Male Kris said. Whatever they had done in Chicago, the Kris’s certainly looked pleased with themselves. 

“So Kris, Kris, me, and Michaeletta were drinking at a human bar, and one of the humans said ‘gosh, I’m so drunk, I can’t remember if I even parked in a spot’, so we had an idea.” 

“Yah! Funny idea!” Female Kris agreed.

Laura did a mental count in her head. Kris, Kris, Carmilla, and—who?

“So we snuck outside, and these two basically had an army of skeletons with superhuman strength move all of the cars around. I mean a complete scramble. They moved them to different spots, had them facing in different directions, they even topped a few with some trash cans we found laying around…”

Kris and Kris were already giggling at the memory. 

“Yah, and then the drunk people all came out of the bars to go home at the end of the night--” The three of them started laughing, barely able to finish their story.

“They were all so confused.” Carmilla said between sobs of laughter. “They all were drunk enough, so they thought they had done it themselves and couldn’t remember when.” The three of them kept laughing. 

“They kept apologizing to each other for having moved the cars around.”

Even Laura had to join in at that, picturing the scene in the parking lot. 

“So we were out in the parking lot, trying not to laugh, acting like it was completely normal. Some of them were pretending to remember, saying they did it on purpose. It was a better spot.” Now they were laughing hysterically, their rosy-red cheeks getting redder. 

“See, kitty-cat, you come play with us, and we have fun. No biting people, just fun.” Kris said, clearly conveying that they had missed Carmilla. 

“Well, we might be here for awhile. Laura here has never been to the city before.” Carmilla said, her laughs slowing down, patting Laura’s thigh. 

“Good! We have some fun then, yah?” 

“Who’s Michaeletta?” Laura asked, watching Carmilla’s face fall at the question. 

“Someone who I don’t have to deal with anymore.” Carmilla answered gruffly. 

“Yah. She stopped being fun.” Kris said. 

“No fun at all.” Kris agreed, both of their faces having lost the wrinkles from their smiles. 

“…okay.” Laura said, hoping for a little more of an explanation. 

“Don’t worry. She’s long gone. She’s not someone you need to worry about.” 

“Actually, not long gone…” Male Kris said in a hurry. 

“What do you mean, not long gone?” Carmilla said, her jaw clenching. 

“That’s not why you’re here? You haven’t heard—anything?” Female Kris asked, looking at boy-Kris surprised. 

“What haven’t I heard?” 

“She’s back. And it’s been no fun.”

“No fun at all.” 

Carmilla’s eyes widened, looking furious. Laura couldn’t tell if she was furious at the pair telling her, or at her for asking, or just angry in general. 

She grabbed Laura’s arm, getting up. 

“We’re packing and we’re leaving.” She said simply, dragging Laura out of the room. 

“It was nice to meet you! You seem like fun!” Kris shouted at them.

“Yes! Lots of fun!” Kris echoed, turning to the other Kris. “She will be good for our kitten, yah?”


	8. The Boat Ride

“Carmilla, STOP.” Laura said, while they were outside, with the vampire attempting to pull Laura away from the tavern in a huff. They had stopped upstairs to grab their sparse belongings, the whole time with Carmilla refusing to explain what was going on. 

“We’re leaving.” 

“No, we’re not.” Laura held her ground, no longer allowing the stronger woman to pull her along like a dog on a leash. 

“Laura, let’s go.” 

“No.” Laura sat down on the ground. They were behind the tavern in a grassy area under the artificial stars. “I need you to talk to me.” 

“Can we talk when we’re somewhere else? Preferably another country?” 

“Carm, I want to know who this Michaeletta woman is, and why we need to leave. We just got here! And your puppet-master friends seem…nice.” Laura looked up with her innocent doe eyes, pleading not to be dragged around anymore. 

Carmilla huffed, sitting next to Laura on the grass. A pair of what looked like husky pups went running into the field together, leaping higher than dogs normally can, and moving fast as they played with each other, tails wagging. Laura watched as one of the puppies seemed to jump ten feet in the air grabbing a branch off of a tree before the pair took off together. 

“Werewolves.” Carmilla said casually. 

“I knew that.” Laura said, less than convincingly. “Talk to me, Karnstein.” Laura took Carmilla’s hand in her own, pulling it into her lap. Carmilla sighed, knowing it was easier to give in to Laura in most instances. In fact, giving in to Laura generally worked out in her favor, minus trying to move on from the broken heart. 

“Michaeletta is on of the Oldest. They are the vampires that are over a thousand years old, and very rare. They—she is very powerful. And by the last time I had seen her, she had gone completely evil.” 

Laura took the information in, letting Carmilla pause for a moment, trying not to fidget with her hand and distract her. 

“Okay, you definitely have my attention.” 

“You probably won’t ever meet any of the Oldest. There are only a few who make it that far along, and I want to make sure you never meet this one.” 

“Is she the one who turned—um, re-birthed you?” Laura asked, wondering how Carmilla got mixed up with one of these ancient, all-powerful vamps. 

“Ha! No. That story is much less exciting. I asked to be made this way, but that’s a discussion for another time. No. Mick and I…” Carmilla trailed off, giving Laura confirmation of her second worst-case scenario. Carmilla toyed nervously with the hand holding her own. 

“We were lovers. I knew she was bad new back then, but I didn’t know how bad it could get.” 

“So we’re running away from your ex-girlfriend?” 

“Make no mistake, Laura, this isn’t just ‘I don’t want to run into my ex’ and we leave the bar and move on to another. The Oldest are the most powerful in a terrifying way. There are reasons vampires tend not to carry on for thousands of years.”

“What does that mean?” Laura asked, staring intently now at Carmilla. She was less than pleased at the prospect of ever running into someone Carmilla had previously taken to bed, but now she was starting to feel scared. It unnerved her further when she noticed how shaken up Carmilla was. 

“Well, if we don’t end up hunted down and burned at the stake, after a few hundred years, most vampires choose to off themselves.” 

Laura didn’t like the direction of this conversation at all. She took Carmilla’s hand out of her lap, guiding it to wrap around her body and rest on her side, moving closer. 

“So you were what, just dating this all powerful vampire woman? Did you feel like that?” Laura asked genuinely. 

“To answer the first part of your question, I was very, very stupid. The Oldest—they can use mind control if you’re in close proximity. Especially on humans. They can move so fast that they wouldn’t have even needed a train to take the journey we took to get here. I’ve even wondered if they could just fly. They can hear and smell everything at once and discern the differences from great distances. I’ve heard stories even of one of the Oldest controlling entire packs of animals to do their bidding. The worst part of it is that to maintain these powers they need to feed so much. They have to drain whole human bodies to survive, and do it so often they’re cruel about it. If one is hungry enough and thinks he or she is going to lose power, they’ll even drain another vamp.” 

“Sounds like you picked a real winner there, Carm. Why were you with her?” 

Carmilla stopped, looking at Laura like she were thinking over an SAT question and hadn’t studied. 

“I--” She stopped, unsure how to make Laura understand. 

No, she knew how to make Laura understand, she was just terrified to do so. 

“I’ll show you.” Carmilla answered instead, pulling Laura to her feet.   
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Laura carefully stepped onto the boat after Carmilla, using the outstretched hand to steady herself before settling in, immediately taking her place at Carmilla’s side, letting the vampire’s arm secure back to its place around her. 

“So…we’re getting on the boat that you told me never, ever, ever to get on?” 

“Five dollars!” The man in charge of the engine at the back said, clearly happy to have passengers. Carmilla fished some cash out of her tight pocket, selecting a five dollar bill, handing it over to the captain, who promptly started the low humming engine, the boat moving slowly forward. 

“It really is a nice night for a ride.” Carmilla said, trying to force herself to forget that Michaeletta’s presence back in her life might become a very real, unpleasant possibility. 

Laura looked around at the low lights of the city. If she weren’t so afraid at the moment, letting her curiosity drive her, she would enjoy riding along the city center with Carmilla’s arm around her. 

She let it really sink in that everyone she saw around her was most likely not a human. They would be mostly vampires, with other Shadows, like the necromancers she had met not even an hour ago. Somehow, they all seemed happy, from the couples walking hand-in-hand to a man playing an accordion facing away from the water, towards the cobblestone street. How did this woman from Carmilla’s past end up being someone who scared even Carmilla? 

“I met Mickey at a very dark time in my life.” Carmilla started in a low voice, knowing she would have to continue but truly not wanting to do so. 

This is what you wanted. You want her to really know you so being with you is a decision, not an attraction. 

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I had been a vampire for nearly two hundred years, and I was not handling transitioning away from the human world well. I was tired of making friends and watching them grow old, or having feelings for someone and then having them douse me with holy water and run away screaming once they found out what I am. I was tired of watching people die. I thought about just offering myself up to be burned at the stake. I missed being human.” 

The boat approached a tunnel, inside of which Laura could hear something muffled, but Laura couldn’t quite make it out from outside. 

“Where…” Laura started, listening as they floated closer. 

“These are the catacombs.” 

They approached the entrance to the tunnel, lit with flame torches, unlike the electricity of the rest of the city. Once they were inside, Laura could hear the sounds more clearly. 

“They’re crying.” She said, hearing the saddest sounds she had ever been surrounded with. The melancholy hung in the air, becoming thick and smothering. 

The crying and wailing notes of anguish filled the air, as they passed the upright tombs, some with names carved into nameplates on the outside, some blank. The two could hear men’s and women’s voices, the sounds of broken weeping beginning to affect Laura visibly, as she let Carmilla continue to hold her. 

“I spent four years in one of these.” 

Laura looked up in horror. She didn’t want to picture Carmilla ever feeling the kind of pain she was hearing from inside of the tombs, much less for four years. 

Carmilla swallowed, trying not to mentally revisit the place they physically were moving through on the boat as she continued. 

“Depression doesn’t even begin to cover it. Despair is more accurate. Feeling completely alone is a horrible thing all on its own, but feeling alone and knowing that it could carry on literally forever, well, that’s it’s own special living hell.” 

Laura could hear some of the tombs with tiny sobs, a light weeping, while some had cries as though the soul inside had just witnessed the murder of a loved one. The cries of sadness were becoming increasingly upsetting, but what was more troubling were the tombs with names on them with no sounds coming out. Laura wondered if these were vampires who stopped crying and might go on, like Carmilla, or if they had simply given up. She wondered if they were even still alive on the inside. 

Laura exhaled forcefully, having a hard time not crying from the sadness herself. 

“This is where vampires lock themselves away when they can’t take the pain anymore. Some of them have finally outlived all of their families, some of them have had long, century-enduring relationships with other vampires only to have the other one killed, some are slowly going mad from living for eternity.” 

Carmilla let out an exhale she hadn’t realized she held in once they approached the exit of the tunnel, the cries disappearing behind them as the boat took the circular route back to city center, along the opposite side of the canal. 

Laura noticed Carmilla sniffle, trying to keep herself composed. 

“When I let myself out of my tomb, I had decided to at least give living a little while longer a chance. I didn’t know what to do with myself, and I needed to eat. I was starving. That’s when I met Michaeletta.” 

Laura was speechless. She knew Carmilla must have seen some horrific things in her long life, but the thought of Carmilla locking herself away in depression, alone, for years broke her heart. 

“I think she knew I was broken. She must have sensed it, knowing it would be easy to manipulate me into trusting her, into a relationship. Not that I’m placing the blame on her completely, I made my own choices. But that was the beginning.” 

Laura didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say anything to console the dark-haired woman whom she knew she still loved. She moved her hands to cup Carmilla’s face, forcing the pale woman with the sullen look to meet her gaze. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Laura said softly, meaningfully to Carmilla.   
The vampire nodded, understanding what Laura was trying to say, resting her forehead on the smaller woman’s. 

“I know there are things you don’t want me to see. But when it’s a part of you, I don’t want you to hold back.” Carmilla responded by leaning in, closing the gap between them to kiss this tiny, innocent human who somehow had gotten her to open up and show her things that she had shown no one before. 

She kissed her while letting Laura continue holding her head in her hands, not caring that she could feel the boat docking. Neither of them cared that the boat captain was most likely still in the boat with them, or at the very least somewhere close. They didn’t care of any of those passing in the street saw, staying pressed in their own intimate exchange of hands running along cheeks and sides, arms and thighs. The slight rocking of the boat encouraged them, pressing and pressing together as they moved with the slight bobbing of the water. Carmilla needed this kiss, needed to feel that Laura was still there after what she had shown. 

She pressed harder with her mouth, needing to feel Laura, feel her breath across her cheek, the reciprocation of need. Joining lips with Laura was quite possibly the most human act in which she had ever engaged. 

When they finally broke, Laura had so much more that she wanted to know, but didn’t want to push Carmilla after the dark place she had literally just taken her to see. 

“I understand if you want us to go. But if we’re not in, let’s say, immediately, pressing, ‘someone’s going to die’ danger, I’d like to stay here awhile longer.” Laura said, letting her hands fall to clasp behind Carmilla’s neck. “With you.”

Carmilla nodded. “I suppose there’s no real point in running. If she truly is here and wanted her presence to be known, it would be. She would smell me, and smell me in you.” 

“In me?” Laura squeaked out.

“You drank my blood, remember?” Carmilla reminded gently. “It’s going to be in you for awhile.” Carmilla stood, stepping off of the boat, then helping Laura step onto the docks. 

“So, does that mean I get any vamp-y super powers while your Karnstein healing blood is still in my system?” They both smiled; it was a smile that was much needed after the serious exchange. 

“Sort of.” Carmilla took Laura’s hand, placing it on her heart, keeping still and pressing so Laura could feel it beating, noticing the young co-ed keep quiet. She took Laura’s other hand, placing two fingers so Laura could feel her own pulse at the same time. 

“They’re in sync.” Laura said after a moment, mouth opening in surprise. 

Carmilla nodded, letting her feel their hearts pump in time for a moment longer before taking Laura’s hand back in her own. 

“C’mon, cutie. If we’re staying, there are much better things to see than some sad, old vampires in a wall.”


	9. Split

It turned out that after only one week of living underground, Laura Hollis loved living in a vampire city. She didn’t even care that she had no idea where to call the place she found herself excited to wake up in, living moment to moment, day to day doing whatever she damn well pleased. 

No classes. Plenty of parties and nights at the tavern. No day/night split dictating when she could go places or what to do. Whenever she wanted to dance with Carmilla, or kiss her, she just went for it—and the vampire let her. 

Laura ate when she was hungry, drank when she wanted to feel a warmth spread from her throat to her belly, explored every waking moment, and was getting used to taking what she wanted without consequences. 

At the moment, she was taking Carmilla’s lips in her own, clearly used to reaching over and joining their mouths whenever the urge arose. 

Carmilla kissed back aggressively, with Laura straddling her lap on their bed. The vampire was very much enjoying Laura’s slow transformation into more and more of a carefree being. 

This Laura wasn’t hung up on who was supposed to be what, or having an existential crisis over toast, or feeling guilty, or judgmental, or unsure of herself. This Laura, once able to shed the restrictions of time and human society, was learning to go after what she wanted, because she can. 

This Laura decided, with her hands gripping her vampire’s neck while her tongue swirled harder and harder, occasionally running along a pointed canine and feeling fine about it, that what she wanted at that moment was Carmilla. 

She could hear her own pulse, in time with the vampire’s, coursing through her body as she started to roll onto her back, never breaking the precious contact between their mouths. If she had learned anything over the last week, it was that she was beginning to like taking what she wanted. 

Carmilla had no problem assuming the position on top, smiling at Laura’s increasing boldness. Laura’s hands in her hair, moving down across her back, moving down to grab her ass—yes, bold Laura was very much appreciated indeed. 

She began trailing kisses down the younger woman’s neck, enjoying the skin openly exposed. 

“Bite me.” 

Carmilla froze, wondering if the voice she just heard was an echo in her head, or if reality was finally catching up with her. 

“Do it. I want you to bite me. Carm.” 

It was definitely Laura’s voice. 

“Now why would I do that, cupcake, when there are so many, many other places where my mouth could be of better use? Don’t you agree?” Carmilla started kissing down Laura’s cleavage, knowing Laura was enjoying it be the hands gripping her harder. 

“Carm.” Laura moaned out, before gathering her faculties and pulling Carmilla’s face back up to her own. “I want you to bite me.” 

“I know you do.” Carmilla said, moving her head down, intending to return to a particularly sensitive back between Laura’s breasts, until she felt the hands tugging her back up. 

“I know you want to.” 

Carmilla took a moment to take in the sentence. Has it only taken a week to bleed Laura of her innocence?

“I do.” Carmilla answered, moving her mouth to Laura’s neck, feeling hands gripping her hair. She kissed along the pulse point, holding her lips still for a moment to feel the flutter. 

“Then do it.” The vampire groaned, both at Laura’s persistence, and how much she really, really did want to drink from her. 

Decisions, decisions. 

Laura’s hands began to knead the raven locks threaded through her fingers, gasping when she felt Carmilla’s mouth closing in with suction, but no teeth.   
“Carmilla.” She pleaded. 

“No.” Came the answer, soft lips still pressed to her skin. The vampire thought for a moment that if she didn’t come back up for air, they could return to their earlier activities. 

“What is stopping you?” Laura asked, the feeling of rejection clear in her voice. “Your hands have literally touched ever part of my body. I know that was before we were here, and I’ve really gotten to know you, but-- I’ve drank from you. I know you still drink blood, Carmilla, I’ve sat across from you every meal knowing why our wine glasses contain different colors. What is it?” 

Carmilla makes a move to get off of Laura’s body, feeling the hands in her hair keep their grip. 

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you run away from me. Not now. Not after everything we’ve been through.” Laura forced Carmilla to look at her. “Why can you drink in front of me, but not from me?”

“Because you matter.” 

In once sentence, Laura could feel the one thing Carmilla wouldn’t do going from feeling like a barrier to turning into an open road. 

“Does that mean you’ll never…” Laura asked, a mix of disappointed and curious. 

Carmilla shrugged, still maintaining her position on top of Laura, but feeling the smaller woman allow her to move a bit to lean on her arm and intertwine their legs. 

“I can’t say. If, at some point I were to do that, it’s not going to be a spur of the moment decision. You’re not a snack I picked up outside of a bar that isn’t going to remember my face. It’s going to change things.” Carmilla rested her forehead on Laura’s, letting her eyes close. 

“What would change?” 

“It’s a very vulnerable thing, Laura, an intimate biting.” 

“I’ve already been vulnerable with you, Carmilla. I’m literally lying on a bed offering myself up--”

“I meant for me.” Carmilla said, letting her eyes open back up. 

Laura noticed something was off when she looked at Carmilla, but it took her a moment to place it, until she saw the crest necklace that was normally tucked into Carmilla’s shirt when they were out of the room glowing. 

“Uhhh…Carm.” Laura said, looking down at the glowing red crest. 

“Damn it!” Carmilla exclaimed before jumping up. 

“What is that?” Laura asked, starting to freak out at whatever it was that Carmilla was clearly angry about. She watched Carmilla throw on a sweater, and stop at the dresser to check her hair and make-up. 

“I will tell you, but I can’t tell you before. I will tell you later.” 

“Tell me what?” Laura was spinning from Carmilla’s flip—the vampire could go from cozy cuddle-buddy to cold and detached like the flip of a switch. 

“I have to go to a meeting. I can’t tell you why until after. I can’t tell you where. No, you can’t come. But I have to go now.” Carmilla started moving towards the door. 

“How long will you be gone? Are you leaving the city? Carmilla?!” 

“Short meeting, I hope. Not leaving the city. Everyone’s probably down at the tavern if you get tired of waiting for me.” Carmilla rushed over, grabbing Laura’s face with both hands. “I promise, I will talk when I’m done, but I have to go now. Sometimes this is going to happen. I’m going to have to go do things, and for you to stay safe, I can’t tell you until after. I need you to trust me.”   
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Laura sat contemplating if she should follow Carmilla. She knew Carmilla would be irate. She didn’t even know what direction down the hallway Carmilla went, or if she’s even left the building. The vampire had a way of walking without audible footsteps, which she usually found to be a pleasant surprise. 

Now, it wasn’t pleasant. She was angry—and lost. 

It was occurring to her that she hadn’t spent a moment without Carmilla by her side since she arrived in the city. Every shop she’d been to, every lazy evening (day?) on the grass under the stars, every meal—every friend she’d met and come to enjoy was a friend of Carmilla’s. 

Not once had she been out on her own. And now, she had decisions to make. 

Try to track down where Carmilla went and seriously piss off the vampire? Roam around on her own? She didn’t know what to do at the moment. 

Laura sighed, getting off of the bed. She tried to shove the thoughts of what she was supposed to do back out of her head. 

>

She grabbed one of the drink tokens from a shelf Carmilla had been throwing them on, and decided to find out if Carmilla’s friends were not her friends too. 

And the fact that maybe they could explain the glowing crest around Carmilla’s neck was the tipping point in the decision making process.   
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Carmilla was irritated now that she was being summoned to a meeting, and wasn’t even the last to arrive. 

She wasn’t worried about Carmilla following her; she knew Laura wasn’t strong enough to lift the stone that led even deeper underground, to the chamber that none of the other vampires even knew about, except those that would be joining her. 

Unfortunately, Carmilla had been ripped out of Laura’s arms out of obligation, and was the fourth to enter the room. Now, she was left sitting, tapping her nails in her clear irritation on the stone table, waiting for the fifth seat to fill. She knew the couldn’t start until they were all there. 

She scanned the room, her own red crest still glowing. Yellow was there, Blue, Orange—only purple was missing. 

>


	10. The Weight of Responsibility

Carmilla sat drumming her fingers on the carved stone table, thoroughly irritated at being made to wait. And because it was her cousin was the one running late, and presumably running the show, she knew it would be awhile. 

The only thing that pissed her off more than waiting was being forced to wait while listening to the other occupants of the chamber and their useless prattle about travels through underground cities and conquests for blood and sex. Carmilla was aware that the only things she had in common with the others was that they were all vampires, extremely powerful vampires, who had noble lineage as humans and held onto wealth and power even into living the afterlife. 

She also hoped very much that Laura indeed hadn’t tried to follow her, and that she had flushed out her innocent curiosity by allowing her every pleasure under the sun, barring the one thing that Laura had most recently worked up to asking for. 

It was the one thing that Carmilla wanted to do with Laura, so very badly. But the vampire knew that she was now old enough, and because Laura had drank from her, if she bit her now, it would most likely re-birth Laura. She didn’t know for sure—she wasn’t completely sure how long her blood would be in Laura’s system—but it was too much of a gamble. Not now. 

Laura was curious, that was for sure. But she wasn’t like Carmilla was when she asked to be rebirthed. When she knew in her heart that once she was aware of an immortality option, she couldn’t continue the less exciting-but-safe human life that had done nothing but bore her since the day she met the earth and sky. She wanted to become more, whereas Laura just wanted the relationship. Although, Laura was taking to vampire living quite well, minus needing blood.

“Well it’s about time.” Hans, wearing his Blue crest muttered once the final member entered the chamber. Carmilla, like the others, stood in respect, even while rolling her eyes and the fashionably late entrance, by her flamboyant cousin who of course wasn’t satisfied to wear the purple crest, but insisted it be on display over his purple tie contrasted to his jet black suit. 

“At least you waited quietly this time. I was worried I’d walk in to a pack of drunks mid-fight.” Carmilla smirked, waiting as Slavomir shook hands around the table, stopping to give Carmilla a kiss on each cheek. 

The usually annoyingly charming man seemed anything but pleased to greet each person, even refusing to meet the vampire’s eyes as he greeted his own family member. It was then that Carmilla knew she was summoned for bad news, and this most likely would not be a short meeting. 

Once Slavomir took his seat at the head of the table, opening a compartment near his seat, pulling out his crown, and placing the modest yes heavy golden circle on his head. Borivoj, Vratislaus, Oldrich, and Carmilla all had the sense to sit up straight and not proceed with any small talk. 

“We have many heavy, pressing matters to discuss. I trust all of you are still trustworthy. I will remind everyone now that this group started off with eight members, and disloyalty has distilled us into five. If anyone is having loyalty issues, I will have no problem downsizing again.” Slavomir’s voice was taking on a booming, authoritative quality. 

Carmilla knew that whatever reason they were called here for, it was going to be unpleasant to say the least. She looked around the subterranean chamber, noticing the candelabras, the walls made of stone that nobody had ever bothered to cover with wood or tile, the rustic, beaten-up stone table in front of them, all seemed to fit with the heaviness in Slavomir’s voice and mannerisms.   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a few hours at the tavern, Laura had almost forgotten all about Carmilla, and was actually enjoying herself with Carmilla’s friends. Or at least now she thought of them as her friends too. 

Of course, Kris and Kris had immediately opened up a seat at their table when Laura stumbled in by herself, giving her a spot next to Agnes, a Nordic vampire who was also one of Carmilla’s old friends, and Mateo, her human guest. The more of Carmilla’s friends she met, the more she liked them, and by association, liked her vampire—girlfriend. 

She was going to go with girlfriend. They were clearly back into romantic territory, even if their renewed relationship state had yet to be consummated. And this time was different. She was getting to know Carmilla, not just blindly jumping in on attraction and false hopes. 

They all drank, gossiped about women in the bar they had seen night after night in revealing clothing throwing themselves at vampire men, told Laura stories about nineteenth and twentieth century underground parties thrown for Shadows, usually thrown by Carmilla. 

They were friendly, and spending time with them felt comfortable—like Laura had been the one to know them all for centuries instead of Carmilla. She noticed how every once in a while Mateo seemed to have shivers run down his spine, particularly whenever a particularly large vampire walked in, to which Agnes would put a protective arm around him, eyeing whoever made the skinny young human feel uncomfortable. 

Laura recognized that it was just for show; something to make him feel safe, even though Laura herself felt perfectly safe. She observed the two between puns traded across the table and Kris and Kris’s necromancy stories. 

Agnes reminded her of Carmilla, or at least what Carmilla may have looked like a hundred years ago or so. The woman had dark hair, although she never wore lipstick, and had jet black eyes. She recognized the tendency to order blood in a wine glass, not doing anything to alarm Mateo. The woman wore an old style of clothing, closer to Kris and Kris, as though she could hop on a horse at any moment with a sword or a bow and arrow. Laura had been in the city long enough not to be jumpy. Clearly, Agnes’ human guest had not. 

She wondered if he let Agnes bite him. 

Maybe he was at the point of practically begging for it, like she was. 

Perhaps he had witnessed a feeding, like she had on the train. Laura wanted to know if Agnes seduced him into visiting the city with him. Maybe he followed out of some sort of misguided but lucky curiosity. 

She tried to look at his neck as they all chatted, Kris starting one of his stories about having a skeleton that he controlled while sitting in a nearby tree ring a doorbell, only to run when the owner opened the door and appear in their window, waiving his bone-hand and scaring the occupants. 

When Mateo threw his head back in laughter like the rest of the table, she caught a glimpse of what looked like a perfect neck, not a single bite mark. 

Unfortunately for Laura, Agnes noticed Laura’s not so subtle attempt to visually molest her human boyfriend’s neck, cocking an eyebrow, while waiting for Laura to notice she was caught. 

Laura’s gaze took a moment, giving up on finding bite marks before feeling Agnes’ eyes on her. Laura blushed furiously, knowing she was caught. She quickly looked down, avoiding any further eye contact.

“Kris and Kris—why don’t we liven this party up a bit?” Agnes asked, smirking at Laura. 

“Yah! Let’s have some fun! What did you have in mind?” Laura was so embarrassed at being caught that she didn’t even notice which Kris answered the vampire who was taller than her Carmilla. 

“I’d say this is a lovely jig, is it not? Why don’t you two go fetch some dancers that are a little more undead than the rest of us? I think that would be a sight to see!” 

“Oh, an idea!”

“A fun idea! I like it!” 

“I’d better go with them. You know, make sure they’re only controlling skeletons--” Laura said hastily, before Agnes interrupted. 

“I think you should stay.” Agnes was smiling now. 

Shit. Laura didn’t know where this was going, but she was hoping that the vampire wasn’t the jealous type. And even if she was, what would she say? ‘Please don’t be offended, but I’m not attracted to him, I just want to know what you do in private?’

Laura thought back to the signals Carmilla set up. Was it blink once? Twice?

Then she realized, it wouldn’t matter. Carmilla wasn’t here to save her.   
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Carmilla hated that Slavomir was technically their king—one of the Oldest, being roughly a thousand years old, and that as such, he was given the utmost respect, even when he droned on and on, insisting on starting his talking point with a full history bringing them up to the current moment, as he did every time he called a meeting. 

“And then Boris was left for dead, before my father found him and rebirthed him, giving me a brother, who was then killed by the mobs in the sixteenth century, may he rest in eternal peace.”

We know the story, Slav. Get to the point. 

Carmilla at least had the decency to cover her yawn. While the leader was her cousin, he was still the highest ranking vampire, having acquired his powers quickly in his first few hundred years, and only gaining strength and wisdom since. 

“Then my father’s sister rebirthed our dear Carmilla, giving me a cousin, around the same time that I rebirthed my son, Richard.” 

Carmilla started carefully picking at her nail polish. She started carving out a little “C” on one finger, and when she momentarily realized that Slav was still talking, began working on a little “L”. 

“Now then. The first order of business: it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you all of Richard’s decision to end his own life.” 

All of the eyes in the room snapped up, meeting Slavomir’s cold, unwavering stare. The words were weighted, but spoken as though there were no emotion involved in the matter. It may as well have been spoken by the stone walls. 

“As I no longer have a son, as Richard was unable to bear the trappings of living for eternity, I must choose who of you will be next in succession and responsible for the Laws should anything happen to me.” 

Carmilla’s jaw dropped. She was shocked that Richard would do something like this to himself. 

She didn’t know the young vampire well, and from what she did know of him, he was arrogant, but at least had the good looks to back it up. He was brash, and had a temper. He would have made a terrible leader. But, he was Slav’s son, and she knew he did love in at least in some way to have rebirthed him. 

“My next living relative, coming from the same rebirth line is Carmilla.” 

You have got to be joking. Carmilla said, frozen in place. Please don’t.

Slavomir stood up, walking over to a heavy oak chest against the wall, using a key from his pocket to open the cabinet. 

“Carmilla, as you will succeed me if you outlive me, you will begin your responsibilities now. Your job is to keep the Laws.” 

He pulled a thin, but heavy leather bound book out, bringing it over to Carmilla’s seat, carefully placing the book in front of her, using his hands to brush the dust off. 

Carmilla’s face was still frozen, jaw open wide and eyes unblinking. 

No! No, no, no! This is not possible!

“Cousin Slav, wouldn’t it suit us to have someone older, and more powerful than me protecting the Laws?” 

“No. You are three hundred and thirty five years old, soon to be three hundred and thirty six. And yet you have the powers of a Shadow twice your age.”

“But I’m really not--”

“I have my suspicions as to which of the Oldest gave you insight into these powers, dear Carmilla.” He said, his voice still cold. 

The others in the room were too shocked and afraid by what they had just heard to object, logic not yet entering their minds. Of course, they had no reason to believe that Slavomir was in any sort of danger, being one of the Oldest and most powerful, and as he had a reputation for always being fair, he had few enemies that he couldn’t take. 

Carmilla stared at the book, not wanting to touch it. She thought about her care-free life of exactly zero responsibility, now that her mother was gone. She was simply skipping about town with Laura as she pleased, which is what she had intended to do for an indeterminate amount of time. At least, until this giant responsibility had been placed in front of her against her will. 

“I know it was Michealetta.” Carmilla broke her stare, shifting from the book to look her older cousin in the face. “I believe it to be the same evil, vile woman who had my son smitten, and convinced him to give into the despair that we all know is a natural part of our cycle.” 

“She killed him?” Carmilla whispered, fearful but not surprised. 

“I’d call it an assisted suicide. As the new keeper of the Laws, Carmilla, you will find in there a reason for us to execute her.”   
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Laura shifted in her seat uncomfortably, now alone with Agnes and Mateo. 

Is that her angry face? I hope she’s not angry. Or hungry. Carmilla, please come back now.

Agnes was intending on letting the young woman squirm, but actually started to pity how uncomfortable she looked. And in all honesty, she had started to like Carmilla’s more alive half in the last few days. 

“Our saliva.” She said simply, waiting for Laura’s mind to stop running circles around itself. 

“What?” 

“It heals wounds. You’re never going to see anything on somebody’s neck around here.” The woman then nodded at a flustered Laura knowingly. 

“Oh, right.” I knew that. The train with Carmilla. How could I have been so stupid?

“You may ask.” The dark haired, pale woman asked with her accent that made the words sound both harsh and soothing all at once. 

“I can’t.” Laura blushed deeper, not even knowing it was possible. 

“Well, I recommend you do before the mischief twins return. Unless you’d like the whole city to know whatever you’re wondering within the hour.” 

Laura looked at the vampire, then back at Mateo, happily sipping his beer, not bothered by the conversation. While Agnes was one of Carmilla’s friends, she was still intimidated by the woman. She had the same predatory qualities as Carmilla, but was markedly larger. 

Instead, she turned to Mateo. 

“You let her bite you, right?” She asked, with Mateo promptly spitting out his beer in surprise, before laughing. 

Laura laughed too, unsure why, but more relaxed after seeing the skinny man’s reaction. 

“Yes, she bites me. You do know that you’re surrounded by vampires, right?” 

Agnes smirks again. “Forgive me, but I thought that you and our kitten were involved. Are you not?” 

“Well, yes, but…” Laura didn’t know how to continue without launching into a three part mini-series about their lives since they’d met back in her dorm room in Silas. 

“Ah. So no love bites, is that it? It’s nothing to be afraid of.” Mateo says, talking to her like he’s explaining sex to a curious younger sister. 

“I’m not. I’m not the one who—nevermind.” Laura looks down at her drink, wondering if there were possibly a way to be more embarrassed. 

“So our kitten is shy around this one? I’m not surprised. Carmilla was always the more careful one of the bunch. Not one to rush into things hot headed—or hot anything else.” Agnes winks, and Laura takes a gulp of her liquid courage. 

“It’s just—I want her to, okay? I do. Part of it is curiosity, part of it is the attraction, but it’s more than that.” 

“But she’s let you drink of her, has she not?”

“How did you--”

“You still smell like vampire blood. Only a tiny drop. But it’s in there. It’ll probably be gone in another week or so, but it’s there.”

“Oh.” Laura took another gulp. “She knows I want her to, but she wouldn’t do it.” 

“Why do you think that is?” Mateo asked, puffing up his chest in pride. He was suddenly proud of himself, as though being the one of the two humans to have been fed upon was some sort of contest he had just won. 

“I don’t know. I was hoping you might, since you’re her friends.” 

“Anything I would offer is speculation. Yes, Mateo asks me to bite him. But he’s never bitten me. That’s something to think about.” Mateo deflated visibly. 

“Huh.” Was all Laura could say. “I don’t know. I just thought, maybe, like, given the choice between me and something out of a glass, I’d be the more appealing option.” 

“So let me follow this chain of events, okay?” Agnes says, sitting straight up, in a very suddenly formal voice. “Your vampire lover takes you to the secret city where she takes nobody and where we don’t take just anybody unless they are very, very special,” the vampire explains, putting her hand on Mateo’s thigh, watching him puff up in masculine pride again, “and she lets you drink from her, which in case you didn’t know will sync your pulses, and she introduces you to her friends, and from what I’ve seen is over the full moon for you, but you still feel like something is missing because she hasn’t fed from you. Is this correct?” 

“Well, when you say it like that, I sound like a stupid school girl.” 

“It’s not stupid. You want that very special connection between a vampire and a human lover. And I can say from experience, there is nothing that exists quite like it. But a word of advice: if she has allowed you to drink from her, and hasn’t drank from you, then she must have a reason. It might be because she thinks you’re special.” 

“Or she’s just afraid of turning you into a vamp.”

“Mateo!” Agnes chastises, slapping his leg. 

“What?! You said that if I drank from you after you’d drank too much from me, that it could--”

“I know what I said! The idea isn’t to scare the girl, we’re supporting them.” 

“Actually…that makes sense.” Laura said out loud, even though it was more than a thought. 

She thought back to Carmilla admitting that she wanted to bite her, feeling her breath on her neck. Would Carmilla bite once the vampire blood was no longer in her system? 

Maybe it’s not some emotional, hung-up, brooding vampire never-ending emo epic, but something practical. Carmilla was nothing if not generally careful with her. 

“Huh. Alright. I can live with that.” Laura said, noticing the front doors burst open with about a dozen skeletons marching in, immediately taking over the dance floor, with Kris and Kris following behind them, making gestures with their fingers, just like when they were controlling the marionettes. 

“Oh goodie! Dinner and a show!” Mateo said, holding up his beer in a toast as the jig picked up its pace. 

Can Carmilla bite me now without turning me? Laura tried to sit back and enjoy the show, quieting her mind as much as she was capable.


	11. The Past

Carmilla sat on the bed, eyeing the book from across the room. 

She knew she should probably lock it up, if for no other reason than respect for the Laws, but she was also seriously pissed that an eternal responsibility had just be dumped in her lap. 

She was pissed that on top of that, the reason it was dumped in her lap was because Michaeletta had done something to her cousin, the one who actually wanted some type of eternal responsibility. 

Carmilla knew that Laura was probably down in the tavern, having a blast. She could just throw the book in a drawer and head downstairs like nothing happened, and give Laura some spiel about the meeting being a vampire group check in. 

It wasn’t a complete lie, but either way she would have to start explaining things to Laura eventually. As Carmilla thought about it, the more she wanted to explain things to Laura, even if it would put a damper in their non-stop life of fun. It amazed Carmilla the types of monsters she had fought face-to-face in just the last hundred years alone, but when it came to messing things up with Laura, she was terrified. 

She’s supposed to get to know you. Learn everything she can. You’re supposed to show her. 

But she also really didn’t want to have to spend hours up explaining the backstory of her entire vampiric lineage, the Laws, how they came about, and the additional thousand questions Laura would have. 

The vampire stood up, walking to the book on the dresser, letting her fingers run over the leather, deciding that she would just have to stop shielding Laura. Not shielding Laura had worked out to her advantage so far, as the woman had yet to go running screaming back up to the surface of the earth. 

Carmilla had just about settled on leaving the book out and waiting for Laura to see it and question her rather than bring anything up herself, when the door to the room opened, Laura coming back inside from the tavern, smiling as soon as she saw Carmilla, immediately walking over and throwing her arms around the taller vampire’s neck. 

“Hey. You’re back.” 

Carmilla nuzzled Laura’s hair, the scent calming the earlier unnecessary internal monologue. 

“I am. What have you been up to?” Laura had started placing pecks along Carmilla’s neck, properly welcoming her girlfriend back. 

“Downstairs.” Kiss. “Tavern.” Kiss. “Everybody’s there.” Kiss. “Dancing skeletons.” Kiss. 

Laura pulled back for a moment. She really wanted to ask Carmilla where she was. She wanted to ask about a thousand questions in rapid succession, and yes, she had noticed that Carmilla was touching a book that hadn’t been in the room earlier. 

She searched Carmilla’s eyes for a moment, and for the first time since she had met Carmilla Karnstein, she decided against it. 

“Come downstairs with me.” She said, watching Carmilla raise her eyebrows in surprise. 

“That’s it? Just come downstairs—no ‘where were you’ or--”

“Or how about nothing.” Laura said, laughing and taking both of Carmilla’s hands in her own, pulling her towards the door. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”   
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

An hour later, Laura was cursing herself. 

Why hadn’t she just walled Carmilla up in the room and asked her if being bitten would re-birth her? Why didn’t she ask where Carmilla was? Why didn’t she do anything to prevent them from coming back down to the tavern? 

The tavern, where for the last hour, now leaning towards hour and a half, a very pale, blonde, yet attractive human has been trying her hardest to hit on Carmilla, and Laura’s patience was wearing very, very thin. 

It has started when they stopped up to the bar, intending on ordering up some food for Laura and blood for Carmilla. They both had an eventful day, and could use a re-fuel. 

“Carmilla.” The woman had come out of nowhere, sauntering up to the vampire, wedging herself between her and Laura, close enough for the fabric of her sheer, thin white dress to be brushing against Carmilla as she spoke. 

“Hello, Tammy.” 

“Why drink from a glass when you know I can give you a full meal? Has it really been so long?” 

Carmilla only peeked for a split second over the woman’s shoulder, which is all it took to see Laura Hollis go from zero to full on rage, which meant that Carmilla needed to act fast. 

“Thank you, Tam, but I’m really all set here. I would like to drink out of a glass right now.” 

Tammy turned slightly to eye Laura. It was clear that Carmilla wasn’t feeding from her, or there would be no need to order a drink, even though what the bar could offer was sometimes better than a fresh feed, depending on what one was in the mood for. 

Still, Tammy was unimpressed. 

Laura was equally unimpressed, and planning on the many, many ways she could pick up and toss the woman outside on her backside.

“Suit yourself. But if you find yourself out and about and end up hungry, famished even, you’ll remember where to find me.” The woman leaned in closer to whisper, “And I believe you’ll remember exactly how good I taste.”

Carmilla didn’t react when the woman in the white dress ran her hands along her arm as she spoke the words, and couldn’t bring herself to meet Laura’s eyes, which were most likely burning holes in every part of Tammy. 

As soon as the woman left them, Laura’s eyes relaxed a bit, but still looked angry at the intrusion. 

“Ex-girlfriend?” She asked dryly, not attempting to hide her distain. 

“No.” 

“No?” Laura asked, searching Carmilla’s face for some sort of explanation. 

“No, we never dated.” Carmilla hastily placed their order, visibly unnerved by the attempt at a pick up. 

“Really? Because she doesn’t seem aware of that.” 

“I promise, she’s aware. Anyway, the answer is no, and I am here with my girlfriend, so let’s not worry about things we don’t need to worry about, okay?” Carmilla ran her hand up and down Laura’s back reassuringly, letting her hand stay on her back while they waited for their order. 

It had relaxed Laura, or at least she was temporarily relaxed, until they were back at a table, this time with Kris and Kris and another one of Carmilla’s acquaintances, a human who dealt in selling ancient, enchanted, and/or magical items. Laura couldn’t quite remember his name from the one other time he had surfaced in their time in the city, but she liked him enough. Laura noticed that Agnes and Mateo were nowhere to be found. 

Laura had only just begun to eat her sandwich when she happened to notice out of the corner of her eye that the woman in the white dress was still in the room, and even while attempting to hit on what was clearly a vampire man, running her hand along his arm as she had to Carmilla earlier, every once in awhile she would look over in their direction to see if she could catch Carmilla’s attention. She thought she could just shake it off and return back to the conversation, but the woman kept doing it. 

It wasn’t just bothering Laura. It was pissing Laura off. And given that she had gotten very good and identifying who was and was not human since her arrival at the city, she was very sure that the woman was completely human, and that she could completely take her. 

It was irritating her further that every once in awhile during the conversation, Carmilla would actually look up at the woman, watching her jump from vamp to vamp, seeming to only hit on vampires, men and women. 

She studied Carmilla’s face whenever she looked up at Tammy, taking small glances that she no doubt thought that Laura couldn’t see. 

Laura wasn’t sure whom she should be irritated with. The woman who kept trying to catch the eye of her girlfriend, even after being very clearly turned down, or Carmilla, for getting drawn in by the woman? 

“Excuse me for a moment.” Carmilla said standing up. “I need a refill. Does anybody need anything?” The vampire offered, watching four heads shake ‘no’ before heading off to the bar by herself. 

Laura pretended to be listening to the story at the table, about a woman attempting to buy out the magic trader’s entire inventory for an exorbitant amount of money, and his explanation s to why he didn’t make the deal, but she was watching Carmilla. 

She watched as Carmilla made quick movements—a quick glance to Tammy with her head, and then watched as they ‘coincidentally’ were next to each other at the bar. 

The to Laura’s amazement, she watched Carmilla pull out money from one of her pockets, looking around before tucking some bills into the thin woman’s hands, whispering what looked like a few sentences, and then watching the woman leave with Carmilla’s money as she waited for her refill. 

When Carmilla returned, she knew Laura had seen. She knew from the fact that Laura wasn’t saying anything. Laura wouldn’t even look at her. No laughing along, or nodding her head with the magician’s stories

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything to Carmilla, or anything to any of the other occupants at the table. She was simply sitting in shock, knowing she saw something she didn’t like, but not knowing what. 

Did Carmilla just pay someone to stop hitting on her?   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Are you going to tell me?” Laura final asked, as they were out walking along in the street. The group had disbursed, and Carmilla suggested they get some air.

Carmilla exhaled. Finally.

She had been twisted in worried knots when Laura had sat in silence after she gave the money to Tammy, unsure of how much her human companion had figured out. She was at least sixty percent certain that as soon as she told Laura, that this would be the moment when Laura leaves. 

“Yes, I will tell you.” Carmilla pulled her hand out of Laura’s, stopping to shove her hands into her pants pockets. 

“Good. Do you really expect me to believe you never dated that woman?” Laura said, sure she was being lied to. 

“I was telling the truth. We’ve never dated.” 

“Really? Because from where I was standing, that seemed to be someone who was very well acquainted with you, Carmilla Karnstein. One night stand?” 

“She’s a—well, what we might tastefully call a lady of the night.” 

Laura’s eyes went wide. 

“That was a prostitute, Carmilla?” Laura whispered. 

“Yes. And you don’t need to whisper. It’s common here.” 

Laura felt dizzy. “You used to sleep with a hooker?” 

“No. We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

The woman’s words echoed back in her head. 

I believe you’ll remember exactly how good I taste. 

“You drank from her.” Laura said blankly. She knew she had no business feeling the sting from her own words. This woman from Carmilla’s past was clearly that, her past. Or was she? 

“Why did you give her money?” Laura looked at Carmilla shifting uncomfortably. 

“She looks too thin—like she’s been overfed from. And the way she worked the room just now…she’s desperate. If she’s literally in a bar offering her neck up instead of hanging back and waiting for someone to come to her, then she’s desperate.” 

Laura looked out onto the people walking through the street. She wondered if there were other prostitutes out and about. Perhaps the other humans she had seen weren’t guests in this city at all, but were offering their blood for money. It made her uneasy. 

“Why did you hire a prostitute? Why not just go up to the bar?” 

Carmilla exhaled, knowing that Laura wouldn’t really understand, but appreciated that she was willing to try. 

“Sometimes it’s not just about food. I was tired of always drinking something from a glass at room temperature. I was tired of not feeling a body, of not getting the whole sensation. I wanted to bite her, and she wanted it but also needed the money. It was a win-win.” 

Laura paused, thinking it over. She wasn’t buying that as the whole story. 

“Was this before or after the catacombs?” She winced, but knew she had to ask the hard questions if they were going to get through this. 

“After.” Laura nodded, not sure why it made a difference to her.

“Look, I don’t really know her apart from the few times I did pay for her services, but that stopped years ago. I told her to stay away from us, and that I am in a relationship with you and not looking to drink. I just didn’t like the idea that someone who literally used to feed me could be out starving.” 

“Oh, the John with a heart of gold, is it?”

“What do you want me to say, Laura? This was before I met you.” 

Laura shut her mouth right on the spot. She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to say a whole lot of hurtful things, because it bothered her that Carmilla still hasn’t had sex with her, and won’t bite her, but she’d pay to bite a stranger. 

Then again, here she was, back to bearing her deep, dark secrets, never fighting Laura. She always answered her questions, no matter how uncomfortable she looked. 

And it really wasn’t fair for her to be angry at something Carmilla used to do before they’d ever met, but it bothered her. It did. And she had to be honest about it. 

“Why?” She knew the one word was enough. She knew it would sum up all of her questions about Tammy, and about her and where she stood. 

It was the most loaded word in Laura’s current vocabulary. 

“You’re more.” Was the response. 

“That’s not going to cut it, Carm.” Carmilla exhaled, easily blocking out the sounds from the pedestrians around them. 

“What do you want me to say, Laura? You know I’ve dated before you. I’ve drunk before you. I’ve done some dirty, rotten things and made them normal and not so bad. Enjoyable, even. So before I answer your question, I’m going to pose one to you: how long do you plan on being with me?” 

“What?” Carmilla had flipped this conversation so fast Laura’s head was still spinning, and very surprised at the turn of this conversation. “Is that what this is about? You still think that when skeleton after skeleton comes out of your deep closet of vampire secrets, that eventually you’ll find the one that drives me away? Okay, you drank from a blood prostitute. I get it. I’m still here.” Laura starts raising her voice, arms becoming animated. 

It occurs to Carmilla that they are now having a full blown argument. This is not how she wanted this conversation to go. 

“It’s not just that. How long will you date me for, Laura? Because in this situation, I don’t have the luxury of ‘let’s just casually see what happens’. I’ll tell you how this goes: everything will be great for ten, maybe fifteen years. They will be amazing. We’ll play house, and you can pretend my vampire tendencies are a little quirk, and I’ll start drinking from you occasionally and call it a kink. But eventually, you will age—noticeably—and I won’t. And soon we won’t be able to go out onto the street without there being stares.” 

Laura’s body language deflates as she hears how Carmilla’s voice starts to quiver, but carries on.

“At least in this century, I suppose it’s good that the stares are only because it looks like you’re dating your daughter, and not because it’s two women. But still, it will happen. We won’t be able to keep our friends if they’re human, because they will have noticed me never aging. We’d have to move, and move, and move again to keep up the charade.” 

It was finally sinking in. Carmilla wasn’t afraid that Laura would leave her. She was more afraid that Laura wouldn’t. 

“Eventually, either you tire if dating someone who’s forever in their twenties, and I feel stifled dating a woman who’s in her sixties even though we both know you’re still younger than me. Do you see where I’m going with this, Laura? We can’t just live down here. You’d be giving up your Dad and your home life, and I’m not completely certain that vitamin D tablets can work on someone long term.” 

Wow. Laura tried to take in the reality of the situation. Carmilla was thinking long term. It was a very upsetting long term, unless…

“Are you afraid of accidentally re-birthing me?” Laura proposed, thinking back to her conversation with Agnes. 

“I’m afraid of re-birthing you, and it not being an accident. Because I want this Laura, but I can’t bear the thought that we could have an expiration date.”

Everything made sense, like Carmilla had just pulled back the blinds that had been blocking any sense or semblance of the light. Carmilla wanted her to see her reality to see if she wanted it to be her reality too. 

Laura had never had someone declare for her the kind of love that Carmilla had just expressed. Carmilla wasn’t trying to convince her, or force her into anything. She had someone handing her possibilities, and letting her make up her own mind. 

Laura softly stepped closer to Carmilla, who had been looking increasingly distraught throughout the exchange. The smaller human unfolded Carmilla’s arms, wrapping them around her own waist before moving her hands to Carmilla’s neck. 

“I will think about it.” Laura said, looking the vampire right in the eyes, and then kissing her, keeping their lips pressed together for more than a few moments. When she pulled back, Carmilla still looked scared. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes. I get it. And I’m not going to take it lightly.” Laura promises, leaning in to kiss the vampire again. And again. And yet again, which ignites something in Carmilla, draining out all of the worries that she had finally expressed out loud, feeling the burden leave her body. 

Carmilla started all but dragging Laura back towards the tavern, feeling something awaken in her that had previously been dampened from how worried she had been to express exactly the words she had just said. 

Carmilla had her hunger back, and had every intention of getting Laura back to their room.


	12. Pulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Creampuffs! Please be patient after this chapter--it's the last one that I have pre-written, and it may take a few days before there's more as I also work on migrating my work from other sites. 
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy!

This Laura most certainly had changed.

This was not the Laura that Carmilla remembered having a trembling shyness when they used to have sex. 

That Laura used to blush as soon as her top was off, clutching Carmilla’s body to her own almost as a replacement shirt, making tiny gasps and barely-there moans. 

That Laura, Carmilla knew, was gone as soon as Carmilla realized she had been thrown onto the bed on her back, with the smaller woman licking her lips while peeling her out of her leather pants. 

This Laura had learned that she didn’t need to ever go to bed unless she was tired and wanted to. This Laura had a beer at whatever damn time of day she wanted. 

This Laura had mastered the art of taking what she wanted. It just so happened that Carmilla wanted the same thing, and she wanted Laura straddling her naked body, making a slow, deliberate production of looking down at the dark-haired vampire and reaching back at an achingly-delayed pace and unclasping her black lace bra. 

Her face was a mature seduction that somehow kept Carmilla patiently still, as she watched one strap fall off of one shoulder, waiting in anticipation for the second to follow.

Carmilla looked up at a pair of eyes radiating back pure want, noticing that over the last few weeks, Laura had darkened her look up, just slightly enough that she hadn’t noticed. Eye shadow a touch darker. Lipstick a slight shade darker. Black lace bra and panties. 

This Laura’s movements were confident, like she knew that the sight of her stiff nipples would make Carmilla’s mouth water with want. Like she could forecast the flush that would occur in the body beneath her and the labored breathing that would follow. 

It was pure sexiness and confusion all at once, as the bra was thrown to the floor next to the bed, and Laura softly leaned forward to press her body down onto the vampire’s, purposefully not breaking eye contact until their lips met. 

The kiss was still Laura. The same Laura that conveyed her emotions through lip and tongue movements. How Laura moved her mouth wasn’t shy—it never was. Carmilla thought briefly about how this sexy, confident Laura was underneath the fluffy social conditioning all along, before Laura started to pull off her own panties, snapping Carmilla back into the carnal moment.

Musk. 

Laura’s scent immediately flooded Carmilla’s nostrils, giving the vampire’s primal side its cue. The human let her flip her onto her back, letting their kisses become rougher, and more deep, hands gripping over ever inch of skin. When Carmilla’s hands began kneading into her thighs, starting to push their soaking cores into each other, Laura lets out a moan deeper and louder than Carmilla has ever heard come from the small woman before. 

Grinning into the kiss, Carmilla decides she wants to see how many times she can elicit the sound, moving her hips to press into the small woman’s wetness again, generating another groan, then another. 

She kept up the steady grinding, finding pure satisfaction in the way Laura’s body bowed up, her head rolling back onto the pillows, offering her sweetly pulsing neck. 

Just as the vampire was running her tongue along the side of a soft, salty neck, feeling her own fangs elongate on their own, Laura joined their hands. She pulled one joined set over her head, keeping her neck exposed, while taking Carmilla’s other hand where she needed it, pressing two of the pale, slender fingers into the source of her swollen wetness, the two moaning together in their own surround sound of panting. She guided them in deep, wanting to feel as much of Carmilla as she could, before moving her own hand away to let the dark haired woman continue. 

Carmilla sucked briefly on her pulse point, stopping to lick in soft swirls, plunging two digits in a slow grind in and out of Laura, curling the fingers upwards at the end of each pull before pushing back in. 

Laura’s eyes were rolling back into her head, moving her hands to run up and down Carmilla’s back, gripping turning into a desperate squeezing, changing to scratching, clawing, clutching, all conveying the same message to Carmilla: don’t you dare stop.

Feeling Carmilla plunge her tongue into her mouth as the same time as she was plunging her fingers between her other lips had her edging. It was causing every pore on her body to try to feel some contact with the body pumping above her, hooking a leg over the pale woman’s hip, keeping them joined in a sweaty mess. 

Her body somehow knew, on some subconscious primal level, that she was being mounted and pleasured by a vampire. She could feel Carmilla’s strength and power, even though she wasn’t being rough. She felt what it was like for there to be a need that was both sexual and more.

Laura wanted to feel more.

She felt the vampire move her mouth down to her jaw, then back to her neck, knowing that the occasional sharp point she felt wasn’t actually going to cut her, but it raised her excitement, joining Carmilla’s skilled thrusts with her hip movements, throwing her head back once again to give her lover more of her neck to contemplate. 

She felt the breath along her own pulse point, followed by suction, then a long draw of a full, flat tongue. 

Laura was so close. She felt the quivering of her insides as Carmilla had at some point slipped in a third finger that she hadn’t known she needed until the stretching had her back to moaning more loudly than she ever had in her life. Carmilla’s mouth on her neck was driving her wild. 

Breath. Suck. Lick.   
Breath. Suck. Lick. 

In. Curl. Out.  
In. Curl. Out.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She needed it. 

“Bite me.” She commanded tightening her grip on Carmilla’s neck. 

Laura’s order took over Carmilla’s senses, letting her teeth pierce into the flesh below, knowing what this first time would feel like for the human. 

The hot-skinned body trembled below her, feeling the gush that happened around her fingers, the warm, iron-flavor of the blood flowing into her mouth, mixing with the scent of Laura’s orgasm—a slight but noticeable deviation from Laura’s earlier scent that she knew Laura wouldn’t be able to notice herself. She could tell that Laura had released her animal scream of pleasure from feeling the vibrations of it, but only hearing her pulse in her ears, continuing to drink as long as Laura continued to quake around her hand, underneath her body. 

Carmilla gently retracted her fangs when she felt Laura’s body calming down, stilling the fingers inside of the trembling woman, licking the two pierce-points closed in an act of gentle animal instinct that melted Laura further into a puddle than she already was, pulling the vampire up for a kiss. 

When Carmilla’s teeth had entered her vein, what Laura felt was overwhelmingly Carmilla. She knew it had made their pulses sync again, hearing it thud in her ears as her orgasm had hit, but it was more—feeling Carmilla take her fluids while giving her pleasure, she was suddenly surround by Carmilla. An earthy non-perfume scent. A motion that governed how they moved their hips. A flavor in her mouth, leftover from their kisses that was undetectable before. 

All of her senses, as they slowly returned to her body, were on fire. 

The smaller woman looked up at Carmilla with a passion the vampire had never seen in those brown eyes before. Laura began to flip them over, climbing back over Carmilla’s hips to straddle her, dropping her sopping-wet core directly on top of the vampire’s, locking their eyes before speaking her last discernable word for the night.

“Again.”


	13. Waking

Carmilla cracked an eyelid open, careful not to move her sore, mouth-shaped bruise covered body that was wearing half of Laura instead of half of the sheets. 

She took in the room—the low lamp in the corner that they didn’t bother to turn off. Their clothes, the shredded evidence of the night before had been strewn about, littering the floor and a corner chair. 

She held her breath slightly as she took in the sight of Laura, half on her chest and side with a leg thrown over her hips. Her hair was a puff of a mess, with claw marks down her back from Carmilla that the vampire knew she had a matching set of on her own flesh, the memory of which caused her to grin at the still sleeping sex goddess in her arms. 

She knew, logically, that she didn’t turn Laura. There was no way the smaller woman had enough of her blood in her for a full re-birth, even though Carmilla had her own fair share of the human’s sweet, iron-scented blood. She was sure, even though she was equally sure that Laura did still have a drop of her own blood running through her system. It would certainly explain Laura’s previously unparalleled aggression.

If Laura had been turned, she would have been awake after only an hour or two of sleep, starving and needing her first feed.

However, there had been a flash, a point where Carmilla had looked up a Laura from between the woman’s thighs where Laura’s eyes flashed into a bright feline formation. The vampire was sure she saw it, before Laura had closed her eyes to thrown her head back in pleasure. 

She had also felt Laura’s strength and stamina double the second time she bit her, a couple of hours into their session. 

But she knew she couldn’t have caused a re-birth. Carmilla remembered her own re-birth—the sudden, overwhelming hunger that overpowered every other feeling. She remembered everyone speaking of the same experience, although Carmilla had never caused anyone to be re-born herself. 

She had, however, watched Michaeletta do it, creating vamps whenever they were somewhere where they felt outnumbered by humans. Michaeletta, well on her way to full-blown evil, created them just to watch them feed, terrorizing the population into submission. 

She gazed back down at the sleeping woman, running her hands gently through the messy mop of hair, still convincing herself that Laura hadn’t been re-born, watching the woman’s back rise and fall with each deep, sleep-driven breath. 

She kept quite and still, watching the breath shallow, until the eyes beneath her gaze started to slowly blink open. 

Carmilla couldn’t control her gasp as she saw the two silver, feline-slit pupils that gazed back up at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little nugget of a chapter to tide us over! Full next chapter should be up later this week.   
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Changing

Chapter 14

“You’re sure you didn’t…all the way with her?” Agnes sat next to the confused and distraught Carmilla, watching Laura’s every move. 

Four dark eyes watched Laura move quickly through the crowd with a quick, fluid grace, anticipating the moves of the crowds around her before they even seemed to happen. 

“I couldn’t have. She wasn’t hungry. You know, with the primordial hunger that feels like your insides are climbing through to the outside--”

“Yes, I remember. It’s not a feeling you forget. Well, then you didn’t turn her or she would have eaten somebody by now.” 

Carmilla merely nodded, noticing that Laura’s tiny gay arms had no problem holding four obscenely large beer steins. 

Before they came down to the tavern, slowing waking together, Laura hadn’t even shown an inkling of being sore. It would have been an amazing feat of healing without Carmilla’s blood, considering the biting, scratching, screaming, orgasming, pumping, sweaty night they had engaged in the night before. 

“But something’s different about her. The eyes, the sudden strength…”

“Beer’s here.” Laura said, dropping a stein off at each spot, including an empty seat. 

“First thing in the morning?” Carmilla said, carefully watching Laura’s eyes, hoping they would flash to feline so Agnes could see that she wasn’t crazy. 

“It never has to be morning if you don’t want it to be.” Laura paused to take a chug, unceremoniously wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, and then handing the idle beer to a hastily arriving Mateo. The four dark eyes were suddenly back staring at Laura. 

“What? I heard his voice from outside and pre-ordered?” 

“Did you now.” Agnes said, eyeing Laura suspiciously before looking back at Carmilla, who was giving her an obvious ‘see what I mean’ look. 

“Thanks, Laura!” Mateo seemed to be the only one who wasn’t even phased by Laura’s sudden ability to graciously pre-order. He gladly took a chug. 

“And where was my little Vaniljkakor this morning, hmm?” Agnes said affectionately, running her hands through Mateo’s short hair. 

“I met up with some of the other humans. Actually, Laura, you should come out with us some time.” Laura shrugged, leaning back to put an arm around Carmilla while barely seeming to notice the conversation over her liquid breakfast. 

“Oh, Jason and Gregor again?” Agnes continued politely. 

While the conversation was going on, Carmilla used this as an opportunity to stare at Laura once again, unsure what she should be looking for. Something was off, but she didn’t quite know how to describe it. 

Laura had no neck marks, but she had instinctively made sure of that even in the heat of the moment. When they had showered together, she swore she could see the scratch marks on Laura’s back healing almost as quickly as her own. It both had terrified her and turned her on more than she could vocalize. 

“Yes! Jason and Gregor, and they had five or six new human friends with them. I guess the one-guest-per-vamp policy has been fairly lax these days.” He said, grinning at the skill Agnes’ hand had massaging his skull, until it stopped. 

“Is it?” She asked. 

Carmilla was suddenly paying much more attention to the conversation. 

“How many more, would you say?” She asked slowly. 

“A lot! We pretty much took over the club last night.”

“There’s a club here? As in a dance party all night type of club?” Laura asked, her eyes lighting up. 

“Laura, I told you about that when we arrived. Your exact words were that if you were interested in group sweating with a bunch of strangers you’d make the vampires teach you aerobics and call it ‘Sweatin’ to the Oldies’, which incidentally was less funny than you seemed to think.” Carmilla recounted the tale, smirking at the old Laura memory. 

“Hmmm.” Laura thought, staring off for a moment. “Well, maybe we should check it out sometime.” 

“Really?” Carmilla asked, turning her attention to her semi-human companion. 

Laura leaned in, not caring who else was at the table, place her lips right on Carmilla’s ear. “I like the idea of you grinding against me from behind. Or did I not give you that impression from last night. Now be a good vamp and make room.” She leaned back, making Carmilla shimmy down on the bench behind the table to open up another spot. 

“Make room for who?”

“Hello!” Kris and Kris said simultaneously, having suddenly appeared at the table. 

“I heard them come in…you should pay attention to your surroundings, Carm. It’s important.” Laura said, innocently running her hand down Carmilla’s arm before holding her hand. 

Just like that, and she’s back to regular old Laura, fast enough for Carmilla to know that at any point, any question could be answered by either side of Laura. 

“We need to have a talking.” Male Kris started quickly, the two seemingly out of breath as though they had ran to the tavern.

“Ya. Talking. We need to do the talking.” 

“Alright. Please, have a seat.” Agnes said, extracting herself from Mateo. 

The two sat down, and Carmilla could immediately feel their knees shaking. Although, the two were easily shaken, so neither of the vampires found reason for alarm. 

“There are too many bodies.” Female Kris stated, letting out a long breath of air. 

“Okay…” Mateo said, eyebrows raising. 

“Yah. Too many. We went to the cemetery.”

“Next to the catacombs. You know, with the bones, and the bodies…we were going to practice our skill.” 

“Un we notice…so many new graves. So many graves with double bodies inside one coffin.”

“Yah too many. Not normal.” 

Agnes sat up straight, Laura suddenly being reminded of how much larger and more powerful the generally friendly woman was. 

“Am I understanding that there is a sudden flood of humans, and a sudden body pile up? Is there anything else we should be aware of?” 

Carmilla let out an exhale, knowing she was going to have to start talking. 

“I have the Laws.” She said, so quickly and quietly that even Laura almost missed it.

“Excuse me, kitten? I thought I just heard you say--”

“Yes. I have the Laws.” She said, this time more firmly. 

“Holy shit.” Mateo’s eyes went wide, shifting uncomfortably. 

“You have the what now?” Laura asked, not knowing what was going on, but knowing that it was about to get serious.


	15. The Darkest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooo! So this is another chaplet, as the next chapter is going to be quite long, so this is to tide everyone over in the meantime. 
> 
> Yes, the next post will be what happened to get us to this point. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!

~~Three Days Later~~

Carmilla could feel Laura’s pulse, barely present, but still there, as she hesitated. 

“Carmilla! She’s going to bleed out!” Agnes yelled, seeing the moment from across the club, sword still drawn as those still alive scattered while screaming. 

The vampire holding her limp lover knew very well that she had less than a minute to make a decision. 

If she healed Laura now, if she let the woman drink of her blood after she had drank so much of hers in the last few days while on the cusp of death—

She most certainly would come back re-born. 

But she hesitated. 

Carmilla wondered if she had any right to be making the decision that she had to make in this moment. Either way, Laura’s life was literally in her hands. Could she really let her bleed out and let her go? Or would she curse her to an eternal life, knowing that she would still exist, but never be the same, and do so without Laura being able to make the decision for herself? 

“Stay with me, Laura.” Carmilla said over and over again, as her internal monologue became a clear-cut dialogue. 

‘Vampire or dead. Vampire or dead. Those are the choices right now.’

There were so many bodies around them from the explosion. Lifeless piles of matter that used to house personalities, histories, and now—they were just discarded piles of tissue that would eventually rot. Carmilla couldn’t let Laura go, let the body she was cradling that still had a pulse slip into becoming a “used to be” over an “is”. 

The other option also made her sick to her stomach: The creature of the Shadows that forced one to parasite off of those very bodies while they are still alive; the existence that means always hiding, always moving, running, fearing being caught and burned alive. It wasn’t the making of a monster that Carmilla feared. She wasn’t blind; she could see that Laura liked living as a vampire. She liked having Shadow friends and living as she pleased, not the least bit put off by blood drinking or shape-shifters or thousand-year old magic or anything else involved in eternal life. Still, Carmilla knew it changed the person, not just what they eat for survival, but it changes the entire personality. 

Vampire or dead wasn’t really a choice. Either way, she was letting Laura die. It was only a matter of to what degree.

Of course, the pretense of really making a choice was just that: a moment, thirty-five seconds perhaps, of pretense, because she knew damn well there was no choice. 

The screams around her were drowned out by honing in on what was left of Laura’s pulse, dropping lower and lower, closing the window Carmilla had to make a choice. THE choice. 

To make the decision for both of them. 

Laura’s pulse slipped down so low it jolted Carmilla into action, the vampire wasting no more time staring off into what-ifs. In the background, Agnes and Mateo still fought off the rabid yet animated corpses with their swords, having cleared most of them, yet still having to fend off the last few. 

“I’m so sorry, Laura.” Carmilla said, tears starting to run down her cheeks as she tore open her wrist, exposing a vein, then moving it to Laura’s mouth. 

“Stay with me.” 

Her tears flooded down her face when she felt Laura’s mouth suction to her offering, her pulse immediately picking up speed at the contact with the immortal life spring. 

Because she had to let Laura live, no matter the cost.


	16. Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K so change of plans--the "next chapter" is too long to be one chapter, so it's getting broken up into manageable chucks.  
> Y'all are awesome for sticking by and stopping in :)

~~Three Days Earlier~~

Laura flipped through the Laws that Carmilla had failed to mention earlier, reading and re-reading the words on the page. 

Really, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course, an entire thriving community would have to have some sort of laws to govern, not just day-to-day life, but also admission to membership. 

It also shouldn’t have been a surprise that more than half of the book dealt with re-birth: who can and cannot be turned, making hybrid Shadows such as attempting to re-birth a werewolf into a werewolf vamp and the like (which apparently was a big no-no), when to observe abstinence, guidelines for making the decision, and so on and on and on.

The book had initially excited the tiny woman, initially thinking the pages in the book were blank until Carmilla whispered the desired language to the cover and Laura watched the words populate before her very eyes. The excitement and curiosity caused her to drink in the pages as quickly as possible, then going back through a second time, and a third.

She had been thinking about the re-birth process a lot; more than she would admit aloud to Carmilla, who was casually napping in the background as she had read the Laws through herself long ago and seemed annoyed that they were in her presence. 

Laura, however, couldn’t put it down. She read of mind tricks the Oldest could not only play to make it so that bitten humans forgot their encounters, but that it was encouraged. 

The section on re-birth kept running through her mind: 

\--No standing member shall re-birth a human to membership as any type of immortal if the human exhibits tendencies towards cruelty via torture, serial murders, or demonstrates propensity towards undue violence. The risk that they will behave as such and uncover our existence is too great.-- 

“Huh. Makes sense.” Laura thought each point over, weighing the decision making process, noticing that whoever had made and contributed to the Law had hundreds, if not thousands of years of trial and error: 

\--Temperance must be exercised, only killing if necessary for sustenance, survival, although it is understood that at times this will occur without being intended. Regular meals must not result in regular, unnecessary kills, as the body trail will lead to our cities and expose our homes.-- 

There were rules regulating everything, with one glaring omission. 

Laura noticed that when contemplating biting someone or even re-birthing them, the human’s consent was never considered necessary. 

The wording of what Laura could consider a glorified manual treating humans like farm animals or house pets was confusing, endearing, and angering all at once. 

She looked over at Carmilla, whose lips lightly smacked together in her sleep as she occasionally rolled from side to side. 

\--When revealing oneself and one’s true nature to a human, the revealing party is taking responsibility for that human and any further actions the human takes upon learning the truth.-- 

At this point, Laura was smart enough to read between the lines. It meant that when Carmilla admitted to Laura that she was a vampire, when she volunteered the location of the entire vampire city—if Laura had lashed out, or tried to start killing other vampires, Carmilla would have been held responsible. A lot of the Laws pointed to the responsibility of the vampire in almost any given situation.

Carmilla’s sleeping form took in an unusually deep breath, exhaling loudly before rolling onto her back. 

After seeing how black-and-white human/vampire relations were to be, Laura had appreciated how much gray area Carmilla had been allowing for, slowly easing her further and further in. 

She had, for the third time, reached the end of the section regarding human/vampire interactions, venturing back to the book warning of what would happen if one of the Oldest lost control, and started leaving behind a increasing body count. 

Laura closed her eyes, not wishing to read again the description of the Angel of Death, and the destruction it would cause not only to the vampire’s soul, but to anyone around to witness it. 

She carefully placed the book on the nightstand, crawling onto the bed next to Carmilla pausing to take everything in. She was aware that for some reason, her senses were heightened since they became intimate, but was just now noticing that when next to Carmilla, she could hear the woman’s pulse. 

Had she had that ability before and just not noticed? 

No, she definitely would have noticed hearing the blood rushing through another’s veins. The sound drew her in, a biological magnetism that she hadn’t even known was possible, until she found herself straddling the vampire, waking the body beneath her with slow kisses along a soft, pale jawline. 

Carmilla responded by wrapping her arms around the smaller woman, but still didn’t open her eyes. Suddenly, Laura felt it. 

A jolt of desire that was sudden enough that she knew she was feeling both of them—her own magnified need wrapped with the sound of Carmilla’s pulse quickening. She could feel the smirk on the vampire’s lips as she pressed down with her own, immediately snaking through a wandering tongue. 

Carmilla didn’t mind Laura taking the initiative and pleasantly surprising her, but it was certainly unexpected after their previous night. 

Laura mounted her and wasted no time slipping a hand beneath her leather pants, sliding through a wetness Carmilla herself had not even been aware she had produced caused Laura raise her eyebrows while keeping their mouths connected, two moans joining together at once. 

“How did you…” Carmilla panted, breaking the kiss.

“Your scent.” She answered, before circling her fingers around expertly, fast and firm. 

Carmilla threw her head back, trying to silence her inner voice sending out warning bells that Laura’s senses were indeed very, very abnormally heightened. Laura picked up speed, panting herself from the sheer pleasure of touching her vampire in a way that made her quiver. 

Laura touched her roughly, almost selfishly. She knew Carmilla liked what she was doing, but she wanted to feel her orgasm. She wanted to see Carmilla’s eyes roll back into her head, mouth open in a silent scream, and know that she did it—that Carmilla was hers, and nobody else’s, vampire or otherwise. 

Only a short minute later she got her wish, as the a gush and long, drawn-out, “Yeeeeeeeessss,” from beneath her gave away the pleasure coursing through the vampire’s body, the human slowing her hand motions in careful increments, feeling a different pulse—she could hear a distinct contracting slightly different from the pulse pushing through a main artery. 

“Whoa. Laura.” Carmilla offered, tipping her head forward for a moment before having to drop it back on the pillows. 

Laura smirked. She waited until Carmilla could hold her eyelids open again before withdrawing her hand, then plunging two glistening fingers into her own mouth, appreciating the effect the visual had on Carmila’s ability to breath. 

In fact, the visual had the exact desired result, as the vampire wasted no time literally ripping the clothes off of their bodies and flipping them over to take control. However, the mouth that was heading below her waist to settle between her thighs was not part of the desired result. 

“Up here, Carm.” She said, pulling at Carmilla’s shoulders.

“Hmm?” Was the response, with Carmilla still nipping lower, skipping below Laura’s belly button, letting her fangs drag across skin without breaking it. 

“Up here. I want you to bite me.” Laura said desperately. To be honest, she did want Laura to taste her in the way she was working towards, but she wanted to be bitten more. 

Carmilla stopped moving in either direction for a moment, settling herself comfortably between Laura’s legs, but still not moving back up. 

“Do you trust me?” She asked, looking up. She knew Laura wanted to have sex too. She could smell it. 

Laura nodded, unsure where this was going. 

“Then I can do this and still bite you.” She said, noticing Laura didn’t quite understand what she meant, until she propped herself up enough to see Carmilla continue nipping south, letting her fangs drag down. Laura’s head swam, not knowing what was going on but wanting it to continue.

Once Carmilla met her center, she allowed for one long, slow lick, before pulling back. Laura continued watching, seeing the fangs out but knowing that Carmilla wasn’t going to hurt her. 

Well, that was mostly true, as Carmilla opened her mouth before leaning forward to let the fangs pierce her outer lips, perfectly framing Laura’s swelling bud to suck, letting the blood mix with wetness in a way that Carmilla never imaged she’d be doing with Laura, but judging from the moans of pleasure coming from the head of the bed, she knew she would be indulging in more than occasionally. 

The human felt the sharpness of two piercing fangs nestled around her more sensitive area, the quick prick giving way to the same pleasure she experienced when Carmilla had fed from her the night before, but this time magnified by the suckling Carmilla had begun immediately after initiating the bite. 

As Laura’s hands gripped her head, keeping her in place, allowing her to overload the human with waves of sensations, Carmilla was far too wrapped in her efforts to notice her pendant glowing its aggressive red summons. Laura certainly didn’t notice, her head trying to sort out the high of being bitten with the high of skills of Carmilla’s mouth on her, drinking, sucking, devouring like Laura didn’t even know was possible.

By the time Laura broke, stiff, mouth open but without a sound exiting her body as her fingers kept their grip on the raven locks between her thighs, the pendant have given up on calling its owner, who then retracted her fangs, careful to gently let her tongue swipe the two piercings, carefully lapping them into non-existence before kissing her way back up to Laura’s mouth. 

“I can’t—I didn’t even…I mean, I’ve never, I don’t think--” Laura tried to put together a sentence after that, and couldn’t even finish a thought, not even having come back to earth enough yet to have her hearing back all the way. 

“Shhh. I know.” Carmilla offered, cradling Laura by curling up around her, covering them both with the blankets. 

Laura waited a few minutes, allowing Carmilla to gently kiss her face back down to ground in reality, waiting for her breathing to return back to normal. 

“I like it, Carm. I like it a lot.” She said, running her hands up and down Carmilla’s arm. 

“I know. I do too. But we have to be careful. I can’t just drink and drink and drink from you. I know we both really like it but I don’t want to drain you.” She left out the underlying concern that Laura’s temporary heightened abilities would likely mask when she needed recovery time. 

“I know. We’ll be careful. I trust you.” Laura said, letting her eyes close, feeling wrapped up in Carmilla in every way.


	17. Prepare

~~Two Days Earlier~~

The twins had been correct. There were too many people for the city to support, both living and dead. 

Carmilla knew, as she noticed that the tavern was now always full, the party bar across the street had a line outside to get in even when there wasn’t a DJ, the cemetery always had gravediggers in a city that was supposed to cater to the undead, the rest of the council had all but fled, leaving her along with the Law to read and re-read and hope it held some sort of answers, she could tell by the ecstatic nature of the humans they interacted with and the despair of the vampires who passed by with them—

Carmilla could no longer ignore that this was Michaeletta’s presence. 

Further, she could no longer pretend that whatever Micky was gearing up towards, it was bigger and required more bodies than she had ever seen crammed into one place before. She hoped that the last chapter of the Laws was incorrect, because if not they were in for one hell of a ride that probably ended with everyone in eternal rest.

Her only thought was to pack up and get Laura out of there, hoping her friends would come too. Only nobody else seemed to want to cooperate, seemingly not placing their own survival above all else, a stubborn mortality mechanism that Carmilla would never understand. 

Laura, however, she thought she could sway. At least, she wouldn’t give up, and she certainly wasn’t going to leave without her.   
_______________________________________________________

Carmilla realized very quickly upon entering the Five of Swords, the local adventurer/weapon shop, that anything she had to say to Laura would go in one ear and out the other. 

The woman, not quite vampire, but exhibiting more than regular human abilities, had spent the majority of the day discovering everything in her system that had been enhanced. Hearing, night vision, smell, taste, touch, hunger, sex drive—everything was suddenly amplified tenfold. 

It was a reality that made Carmilla very, very nervous, as she had no idea how long the enhancement would last. 

Especially since she was ninety-nine percent certain that the reason for the body count, both alive and dead, was that Michaeletta was aiming to become a full-blown Angel of Death, making the break from semi-mortal as a vampire into a completely supernatural, un-killable being. 

The sudden skills and speed she found herself capable of was making Laura increasingly excited, as she discovered her enhancements included strength, as she picked up one of the heaviest steel swords on the wall, clearly meant for a seven foot tall ogre, and twirled it around with ease. Carmilla had decided that if they all refused to leave the city as she felt they should, they would at least be armed.

“I want this one.” Laura said, gazing at the blade in awe. 

“Laura, you don’t even know how to use it. Does that even have a full tilt? What about one of the beginner--” Carmilla stopped when she noticed that the metal started to glow slightly. 

“This one.” Laura said more firmly, smirking before giving it a twirl with a swish of her wrist.   
_________________________________________________

“Why swords?” Laura asked, picking at their take-out lunch next to the canal. She enjoyed watching the little boats sail around in the eternal night sky, knowing they would pass through the catacombs, but no longer really being bother by it. 

“It can kill one of us. In an emergency, if you really had to, cut off the head and stab the heart.” 

“Ew.” Laura said, pausing mid-bite. 

“That’s reality, cutie. If something nasty comes after you, any kind of Shadow, it’s a sure bet. You have to do both, though. If you only stab the heart but leave the head, it will heal.” Carmilla picked at the tray of finger foods, carefully dissecting a potato croquette. It was mostly for show, having had a snack on Laura already that day, as the human had demanded yet again that Carmila bite her. The vampire only acquiesced after agreeing to only drink for a moment, still afraid of weakening the tiny woman. 

“You’ve seen that before?” 

“It’s happened to me before.” 

Laura didn’t know what came over her, but she suddenly tensed, feeling protecting of the all-powerful vampire that she knew was much stronger than she. The sword next to them that she had picked out started to glow again. 

“Why does it do that?” 

Carmilla shrugged. “Probably some sort of enchantment. It used to be common in ancient battles, to try to imbue the sword with powers to make it stronger or feel lighter.” 

“Oh.” Laura stopped picking at the food with her fingers for a moment, wanting to know so much but not knowing where to start. Carmilla noticed her gazing off at the water, deep in thought. 

“I know that we should be leaving, but I don’t want to. I can’t bring myself to.” Laura said quietly, seeing just how many people were now in the city. There had never before been a dozen boats out on the water at once, never had the streets been so busy. 

“You read the Laws?” Carmilla asked carefully, waiting for a nod from Laura, still gazing out at the water. 

“I think that—I think she’s trying to become an Angel of Death.” 

“Why would you think that? Isn’t careless killing already her thing?” Laura answered with such distain that Carmilla knew it was a combination of the murder and the fact that she used to sleep with Carmilla.

“Well, think about it. You become a vampire, spend over a thousand years becoming all powerful. You perfect your skills—speed, strength, seduction, mind-control, you’ve already cycled through all of the different ways to kill, you’ve travelled to every country there is, even when there’s a new one that wasn’t there the century before—it must be terribly boring to know you’ve exhausted everything to do in the world.” 

“I get that. It’s the ‘what’s next’ factor.” Laura said, turning to face Carmilla. “I guess the only next goal is to become an even more powerful creature.” 

“It’s happened before, you know.” Carmilla said, looking at Laura, moving to put her arm around her. “I’ve heard that there was an Angel of Death last in the thirteenth century. He terrorized most of the world for forty years, at least the story goes, before he just stopped. Nobody knows why: if he was defeated, or if he found being an Angel of Death just as boring and disappeared.” 

“That’s what scares me the most.” Laura said quietly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When I consider what we’ve talked about before—if you did end up re-birthing me. Not being a vampire, not living on blood, not outliving everyone. It’s scarier to think that I could exist eternally and not know what my purpose is.” The smaller woman felt Carmilla squeeze her in comfort.

“You can still have a purpose. You can have a thousand of them. There are literally no limits here, Laura.” Carmilla knew that Laura had legitimate questions here, but couldn’t help be a tad bit offended that Laura thought Carmila had no purpose. 

“That’s not what—No, I mean…if you’re just a regular old, run-of-the-mill, nothing special human, your purpose is fairly simply. Falling in love, having a career, having kids—any one or combination of the three—your goals are simple because your life is finite.” 

“We do the same. We fall in love.” Carmilla gave her another squeeze. “We take up jobs—I’ve personally cycled through a bunch of different careers, finding ways to mostly do them at night. I supposed ‘re-birth’ is like having kids. So—it’s the same. Any one of or combination of the three. But you get to do them multiple times.” 

Laura thought about what Carmilla was saying, so deep in thought that the vampire knew Laura’s contemplation went deeper than just this one conversation. 

“I guess that’s comforting. You can’t ‘waste’ your life on a career you don’t love if you can just have a do-over every twenty years.” Laura leaned into Carmilla’s side, nuzzling into her shoulder, letting the vampire hold her close. 

Laura’s head was spinning. She knew she couldn’t just go back to the human world. She knew that from the very beginning once Carmilla had asked her that. But could she live like this forever? 

“One day at a time, Cupcake.” Carmilla said, as if reading her mind, running her hand up and down Laura’s arm. “You don’t have to make any decisions now.”


	18. Inside the Beast

~~One Day Earlier~~

“Whoa.” Is all Laura can muster when she sees the line to get into the hottest vampire club in the city. 

“Yeah, no kidding. It’s been getting longer and longer each night.” Mateo said, seemingly fine with lining up behind what potentially looked like a hundred vampires, with some humans and other types of shadows mixed in. 

“Any idea why this club is suddenly the most popular for our beloved, overcrowding city?” Carmilla asked, trying to see who was bouncing at the door instead of paying complete attention to the conversation. 

“I can think of a few reasons.” Laura said, only faintly shocked as she watched a short, pale vampire woman openly purchase a vile of cocaine from a man vending his way down the line. 

“Alright!” Mateo said, grinning wildly. 

“No, not alright, my Rosenmunner. I promise you if that’s Shadow strength one line will be enough to stop your heart.” Agnes chastised. “At least now we know what the population spike is all about.” She sounded relieved. 

She was, if she were being honest. It’s always alarming when an underground city starts being over-populated in the off season. It usually means either something is occurring on the surface to drive vampires underground, or human adventurers someone have started chattering about the location, causing a spike in desperate visitors. 

In the past cases of the latter, the small human groups of conspiracy theorists who heard about the underground city realized very quickly that they didn’t have a vampire escort, and as such would never be able to catch a train in, having heard word-of-mouth, or more accurately word-of-internet about it. They would actively seek out vamps, hoping to befriend one and talk him into access to the city. 

From there, it is only a short period of time before the vamp is on to the human’s plan and takes them to the city, draining them completely and burying them in the city cemetery within a day, two at most. 

“It’s a vamp. C’mon.” Carmilla said, spotting the bouncer and dragging her group to the front of the line. 

“We’re just going to skip? What about Kris and Kris?” Laura said, letting herself be dragged to the front of the line. 

“They’re already inside.” Was Carmilla’s curt answer. She wordlessly showed her red neck pendant to the bouncer and pointed to herself and the other three, noticing the bouncer quickly nod and let them in.

“You know what? I’m not even going to question.” Laura said, turning and suddenly overwhelmed with just how big the main party room was before her eyes. 

Laura’s face grew excited, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, as the entire club appeared illuminated in only blue and purple. Everything, from the floors, to the seating, to the lights overhead and behind the bars were a combination of black, blue, and purple accents, providing a relaxed glow throughout the club large enough to be a warehouse. 

The entrance way had fed them into a second level balcony, where the incoming clientele could pause and overlook the entire inside. There were at least six bars lining the walls, she could see a VIP area roped off in one far corner, and hundreds of dancers very much intent on dancing like nobody is watching to the steady pulse of the music. Much of the crowd that was dancing instead of sitting in VIP or at a bar was trying to get as close to the DJ booth, a front and center purple altar with a small, dark haired woman spinning records.

It was then that Laura noticed the servers for the VIP area we very, very tiny and fast. She tugged on Carmilla’s arm, openly pointing once she noticed the small people were actually green, and seemed to wear an inordinate amount of gold jewelry. 

“Ah. Those are the goblins.” Carmilla paused as Laura couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Goblins?”

“Hey, they are the best in service. Watch.” Carmilla and Laura stood over the railing overlooking the lower levels, seeing a goblin take an order from a pair of men on a purple velvet couch, then scurry through the crowd to the bar and back, returning with a bottle of champagne and two glasses in less than ten seconds. 

Laura nodded approvingly, looping her hands around Carmilla’s arm, giving her the hint to lead them down. 

While Laura had been studying the layout, amazed at the size, Carmilla had been doing a quick scan of the patrons. 

In only a few minutes, she spotted more coke peddling, a few pill exchanges, and in one instance, she was pretty sure an entire VIP group was about to shoot heroin. 

Generally, she carried a ‘live and let live’ attitude. However, given the strength of underground drugs meant for vampires and Laura’s newfound bravery and somewhat predatory nature, Carmilla made it a point to begin planning as little time at this location as possible. 

Carmilla was internally congratulating herself on how easy it was to maneauver Laura away from the drugs—as long as they were on the dance floor. Earlier, she had learned it was much harder in the back area, where the VIP goblins had apparently been in on the dealing. 

Laura had been drawn to the idea of the group of them having their own lounge area, and had all but dragged the four of them to the back corner. She noticed that the lounge area didn’t have any speakers near it, so they could hold a regular conversation without overly shouting. 

As soon as four backsides had hit the cushions a goblin appeared. 

“Wow. You guys really are fast.” Laura couldn’t help herself, noticing the goblin didn’t seem offended. 

“We are! Can I get you anything?” 

“Is there a wine list?” Laura asked. 

“No need! I can get whatever you’d like. Do you know what you want?” 

Carmilla noticed Laura acting surprised for the first time in quite awhile, enjoying seeing innocent Laura for a moment. 

“If you’re not sure, I can get you a doubleshot!” Laura tucked away the information apparent to her that goblins were easily excited. 

“A double shot of what?” Laura paused long enough to see another goblin go speeding by, seeing a tray with a very tiny glass of what looked like ultra-concentrated, extra dark and syrup-y blood and a syringe, seemingly already pre-loaded, with a rubber strap laid out next to it. 

“Of nothing we need!” Carmilla answered quickly. “I’m actually not even thirsty yet.” Carmilla stood up, making quick eye contact with Agnes, who also stood. 

“Why don’t we dance?” Carmilla asked, holding her hand out to Laura. 

Yes, dancing was much, much better. 

Every time anyone looking even remotely predatory looked at Laura, starting to pull anything out of his or her pockets, Carmilla could simply spin Laura so that her back was grinding into her own front, effectively putting herself between Laura and the heroin strong enough to kill an elephant. 

Everyone else on the dance floor was so caught up in themselves, their own dates, and the music that Carmilla was certain they could be outright having sex on the dance floor and nobody would notice. The DJ’s head bounced up and down with the beat, long dark hair obscuring her face, and everyone’s own head down on the floor bounced right along with it.

It was actually kind of fun, and from what Laura could tell, she just thought Carmilla was an excellent dancer—always knowing when to spin, grind, laugh, distracting her from her surroundings with a slight skid of teeth along her neck or a tongue along her ear. 

After a certain point, Laura wouldn’t have noticed if one of the dealers had walked up to within a breath of her face, because Carmilla was seriously turning her on. 

They kept dancing, Carmilla making sure that their bodies were always touching. Constantly having the vampire’s body move against hers while anticipating the next time she would feel teeth scrape along her neck and her amped higher and higher. 

She didn’t know where Agnes and Mateo had gone, or if Kris and Kris had shown up at all. She was only focused on one sensation, and it was the feeling of Carmilla. After about an hour of Carmilla expertly maneuvering her body around, her hands controlling Laura’s hips and running down to her thighs, their chests pressing together, Laura felt a tooth nip her neck one last time before she couldn’t take it anymore.

She gripped Carmilla by the front of her dark tank top, bunching it in her hand and pulling them off to the side of one of the bars, letting her own back hit the wall before pulling Carmilla in, kissing her soundly before moving her head to the side, exposing her neck. 

Carmilla wasted no time moving her mouth further down, resuming her teasing, lightly dragging her teeth down, then pulling back to kiss Laura’s pulse point. 

“Carm.” Laura panted out in the vampire’s ear. “Bite me.” 

Carmilla paused. She should have known not to get so carried away. 

“Laura, that would be three days in a row.” Carmilla pulled back to look at Laura’s face. Both women now had sets of feline eye pupils.

The human knew she should probably stop and wait a few days. Logically, she knew it was probably not a great idea to bleed every day. 

She also knew logically that she could choose to start being responsible tomorrow. 

“I know. It’s okay.” Laura guided Carmilla’s face back into the crook of her neck. “Just a little bit. Not a full bite.” She whispered, holding Carmilla’s head to her, feeling her eyes roll into the back of her head when she felt Carmilla’s teeth resume their teasing of her skin. 

The vampire knew she couldn’t keep bleeding Laura day after day, even with Laura’s increased strength. However, she wasn’t too worried at the moment, since Laura’s skin wasn’t pale, she wasn’t weak, and the natural scent of Laura’s skin was seriously testing her non-animal side. 

“Just a little bit.” Carmilla repeated, letting one elongated tooth make a tiny cut, immediately sucking down the offering from the body wrapped around her, the rest of the people in the club fading away from her consciousness, letting herself focus on the taste of Laura, reminding herself to stop in a minute, no matter how hard Laura would try to hold her mouth in place. 

Neither women noticed that they were being watched by a pair of eyes, using night vision and a zoom capability from the DJ altar. 

When Carmilla did release Laura after a moment as promised, Laura still wanted more. 

“Carm, we should call it a night.” She winked and smiled, leading the vampire about out by the hand, very clearly dragging them back to their room.


	19. Permanent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not sure if this is going to have one more chapter and then expand this into a series and write a second book, or if this is going to be a SUPER long single story. Honestly, I seem to have plenty of time to decide since this show is taking FOREVER to come back on! So if I take awhile to decide, that's what's going on.

~~The Final Day—Part I~~

Carmilla walked along the sidewalk with Kris and Kris, apologizing for the tenth time for skipping out with Laura the night before without even bothering to find them and say hello, but it was a conversation she was barely paying attention to with Laura hopping through town only ten paces in front of her. 

Laura went from shop to shop, waiving here and there at folks she had come to know from being around the city for so long, with Carmilla and the Kris’s never trailing far behind. Carmilla noticed that Laura had stopped cringing at public bitings weeks ago, long before feeding entered their own relationship. 

In fact, Laura never cringed at any part of vampire life. There were vamps that Carmilla knew only kept their undead hands off of Laura because of her association with Carmilla, not just a moderately aged vampire, but a council member—and now, the keeper of the Laws. It was understood that escorts in the city were to be left alone. Above ground, they would not be so lucky. Laura was so accustomed to their day-to-day life that she was oblivious to the larger reality of the situation. 

And honestly, it scared Carmilla. 

It also scared Carmilla that Laura was losing some of her previous stamina boost, not waking up that morning with feline eyes. True, she still had speed and strength, but Carmilla also knew that would fade as well. She was happy that Laura was having so much fun. But she was afraid that Laura was blindly having so much fun. It was a conversation ball that was ping-ponging back and forth in her head. 

Laura likes vampire life. Laura’s not a vampire. But she could be, one day. She could also get bored and not be. 

And Carmilla knew that if Laura ultimately decided she didn’t want to be with Carmilla, what that would mean. 

It meant that because Carmilla assumed responsibility for Laura, if Laura ever left her she would have to keep tabs on her for the rest of her human life, checking in to make sure she didn’t start spilling secrets about the things she’s seen. Now that she held the Laws, she was bound to that responsibility for than ever. Laura had the option to walk away, but Carmilla would be responsible for her forever, even if that meant having to watch her eventually be happy with someone else. An existence rifled with such sadness it rivaled the catacombs, leaving a heavy stone at the pit of Carmilla’s stomach even thinking about it.

Carmilla visibly shook the thought off, knowing that was a worst-case scenario. Best-case scenario she could stop obsessing over where Laura and her were headed and just enjoy the moment. She looked at Laura, stopping to pet the werewolf pups playing on a grassy patch. 

Laura certainly had no problem enjoying each moment. Why shouldn’t she?  
_________________________________________

Carmilla and Laura continued a leisurely walk around the city, Kris and Kris having gone off on their own to do who-knows-what. Carmilla had stopped keeping tabs on the duo long ago, but as she looked around she suspected that all of the street signs being rotated so they all faced the wrong way were the doing of the twins. 

Everything looked the same as when they had first arrived, and yet Laura noticed that everything was different. Now she knew this place, this strange, secret existence, and knew its ins and outs. She knew that the bodies were piling up in the cemetery, presumably from overdoses at the club across the street but nobody could be sure. She knew the vampires who worked at the bakery, she knew everyone whom she expected to see in the tavern every evening, she even smiled and waived to the boat captain every time they passed. 

There were very few shops Laura hadn’t ventured into, but she was starting to look for new things to see, and started tugging Carmilla from store to store that she hadn’t yet ventured inside of. 

The first was a clothing consignment shop, which Laura had loved—until Carmilla let it slip that a lot of the new inventory probably came from the rooms of those who had recently died and were in the cemetery. While Laura said out loud that she had appreciated the effort at recycling, the speed at which she suggested they look elsewhere told a different story, with Carmilla chuckling and following her out. 

Next door was a shop with a sign that read “Temporary Tattoos”, with designs of various cliché hearts with barbed wire and anchors with initials written on the sides. 

“Ohhh!” Laura immediately said, pointing to it. “We’ve never gone in here, either!” Carmilla grabbed Laura’s hand before she could go inside.

“It’s not temporary to you, creampuff. They would only be temporary for me.” Carmilla paused, waiting for Laura to stop staring at her. The information was clearly not clicking, as she watched Laura eye the variations of roses on a poster in the window.

“Laura, they’re regular tattoos. They’re temporary for us because of the healing.” 

“Ah. Right. Gotcha.” Laura said, now stuck at the entrance. 

“Unless you were looking to add something a bit more permanent…” Carmilla trailed off, smirking. 

Laura paused for a moment before taking the vampire’s hand, leading them further down the cobblestone street. 

“So if you ever re-birthed me, I’d have to have any tattoos that I wanted done first, I suppose.” Laura said out loud, but not making eye contact with Carmilla. 

“You would. Unless you embraced the ability to try out new ones indefinitely.” Laura seemed lost in thought, mulling over the possibility that the ultimate commitment to immortality meant the temporality of everything else. 

“I suppose then that whatever I looked like, is what I would look like forever.” 

“Well, you wouldn’t age, if that’s what you mean. You would get skinny if you refused to feed, you would get plump if you fed more, just like anyone else.” 

“My hair?”

“Would also grow to whatever style you had upon re-birth. As would your nails, so I appreciate the constant trimming.” Laura turned her head to the side, seeing Carmilla’s smile and returning it. 

They crossed over to the other side of the street, looping back around. Laura thought over how meticulous of a decision this would have to be. She would have to choose almost exactly what she wanted to look like for all of eternity before committing to the ultimate commitment. 

“And if I don’t?” Laura said in a small voice. 

“If you don’t what—you mean, if you stay human?” Laura nodded. “I don’t know, Laura. I don’t know how this can work long term otherwise.” 

“I mean, what would happen? Would I just go back up to the surface and you disappear?” 

“Something like that.” As far as Laura would know, that’s how it would be. For Laura, Carmilla would eventually fade into memory. For Carmilla, she would have a miserable existence knowing exactly how Laura was doing once she moved on. 

Carmilla’s palms started to sweat, her muscles starting to tense. She couldn’t keep putting this off forever. 

“Have you thought about it at all? Since we talked?” Carmilla threw out, her voice shaking a bit, giving away her one insecurity. 

“Yes.” Laura said, simply and seriously. Carmilla waited, not wanting to push Laura for more. 

“I could do it. I could live like this easily. It’s not better than being human, it’s not worse. It’s just different. And I like it. I would still want to visit my Dad, though. I mean we aren’t staying here permanently, right?” 

“We don’t have to stay anywhere permanently. We can go see your Dad. We can go see other cities—vampire and not. Does that mean yes?” Carmilla held her breath for a moment.

“I don’t know.” Laura shook her head. “I don’t know, Carm.”

“What’s holding you back?” Carmilla had never felt so afraid with Laura. Not when Laura found out that she was a vampire. Not when she asked Laura to come here with her. Not once. 

“Honestly? This.” Laura said, picking up and pointing to their joined hands. “What if I say yes, and this doesn’t work out? That’s what scares me.” 

“That’s fair.” Carmilla answered. “Because what scares me is if you say no, but it does work out. I’ve already discussed that scenario with you.” Carmilla said, gripping Laura’s hand a little harder. 

Laura started thinking back to the decision at hand. She knew she didn’t have to decide anytime soon, and that Carmilla wasn’t pressuring her. She was simply bringing it up again, but she knew she could wait weeks, months…she were even certain Carmilla would wait years for her if she had to. Laura also knew it wouldn’t be fair to drag her along for years. She had to decide at some point, even if that day wasn’t going to be today.   
______________________________________

Laura enjoyed having a beer with just Mateo every couple of days. While she enjoyed hanging out with the whole gang, and of course her girlfriend was a vampire, it was still nice to spend time with another human—especially one who understood the position she was in. 

Except, she didn’t know how to bring it up without being terribly blunt, which she didn’t want to do when they were having a fun, lighthearted time. Laura was also not the best at hinting when she wanted to bring something up. 

“This beer is the best—isn’t it the best?” Laura interrupted Mateo’s latest adventure story. Apparently, he and Agnes had travelled all over the world, in a way that Laura found romantic and frightening all at once. 

“It is.” Mateo smiled, not even noticing he was interrupted. “It’s always just right here, not too strong, not too hoppy.” 

“Couldn’t you just drink it forever?” Laura said, suddenly sounding very serious. 

“I guess? It’s pretty great, I will agree, but…Laura what are you getting at?” Mateo held his smile, but shook his head in that genuinely innocent way that Laura liked about this friend. 

“And this place?” Laura motioned around with the pint glass still in her hand, “Would you want to drink here, forever?” 

“No.” Mateo said plainly, causing Laura to still and look at him. “I wouldn’t just drink here and I don’t. I’ve drank in many places and there are still many, many more.” Laura nodded, mulling over that statement. He sees his relationship as nomadic, while she’s worried hers will become stagnant. 

“Have you and Agnes ever discussed re-birth?” Laura asked, staring straight ahead. 

“Of course.” He chuckled. “You can’t really be in a relationship with a vampire without it coming up, no?” 

Laura shrugged. “I guess that’s true. So you’ve talked about it but you haven’t, you know, done it…I mean, obviously you haven’t, so…”

“I’m going to. We’ve been together for four years. We’ve said that once we make it to five, we know we’ve got a pretty good shot at lasting. We are long lasting, but that’s just the marker that I set. I told her when we started dating that if we made it to five years, I’m all in.” Laura studied his face as he spoke. 

He didn’t seem afraid at all. He actually sounded excited, in that way where he knew they were going to make it to five years and beyond. 

Laura’s thoughts started racing again. Of course, he’s excited. He’s had years to contemplate the possibility, and suspending it to a definitive point in the future took the pressure off of right now, but put it in perspective. 

It wasn’t such a bad idea. 

Although, Carmilla seemed to want an answer quicker. She knew Carmilla, and she also knew saying some far-off time like ‘five years from now’ would have her vampire insecure from the get-go, always dreading that date when Laura could pull a fast ‘no’ and go. 

She thought of all of the stories of Mateo and Agnes travelling together. She saw no reason why she and Carmilla couldn’t do that now, whether or not she re-birthed. 

Then it dawned on Laura: even if she did it now, becoming a vampire like Carmilla wouldn’t change Carmilla’s insecurities. She would find some other relationship boogie-man to focus on. If there weren’t larger issues going on, they’d be happily galloping across the globe, just like their friends. 

“Besides, having a trial period is better than saying no to a re-birth right away and ending the relationship, knowing what that entails.” Mateo snapped Laura out of her thoughts. 

“What what entails?”

“You know, when you break up with a vampire.” Mateo shrugged, not noticing that Laura was clearly not following. 

“Why do you say that like they are obligated to eat you or something?”

“So you’ve discussed re-birth, but you haven’t discussed if you don’t make it? Laura, Carmilla literally accepted responsibility for you by bringing you here. She’s responsible for making sure that you don’t spill their secrets literally for the rest of your life.” The casual way in which Mateo spilled out this information did nothing to stop Laura’s eyes from going wide.

Of course, it made sense, but she never put two and two together. Laura had all but asked her earlier about the what-if scenario, and the vamp had conveniently overlooked this particular detail.

“So she’d…” Laura trailed off.

“She’d be following you where ever you go, or at least always checking in. I’d rather personally be a vampire even if the relationship didn’t work out then always have to wonder if I’m being watched from the shadows by my much, much stronger ex-girlfriend.” 

“Excuse me.” Laura downed the last third of her beer in one large, angry gulp. “I need to go have a chat with my very tight-lipped vampire girlfriend.” 

Laura was angry. Laura was pissed, more accurately. Of course, she hadn’t seriously considered what would happen if the relationship with Carmilla didn’t work out, she’d been so focused on what life would be like of it did and she chose to re-birth. Now that she had all of the information, she couldn’t help but feel like Carmilla hid part of the truth from her, and very few things upset Laura like the feeling of Carmilla trying to control her access to information. 

The tiny human slammed her pint glass down, giving Mateo’s arm a friendly squeeze, letting him know she wasn’t angry at him, but she was going to go have a very stern conversation with Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *note for UK readers--I am American; I use "pissed" in the US way of saying "angry", not "drunk".


	20. As the World Burns

~~The Final Day, Part 2~~  
Agnes cringed, trying to pretend that she couldn’t hear Laura tearing Carmilla a new ass exit from across the graveyard.

  
She and Carmilla had been content to lazily hang out with Kris and Kris, trying to stay away from the known too-long line outside of the club and focus on the bodies in the graveyard. They had all agreed that currently the only lead they had was that the club had drugs, but even that didn’t cover everything that was going on.

  
Drugs strong enough for Shadows weren’t necessarily difficult to come by. They weren’t all that different from the regular variety, but because they had to be stronger they were either from enchanted plants that warlocks grew, or the substances themselves were enchanted to be ultra-concentrated after they were made.

  
There was of course, nothing in the laws that worked against using drugs. By vampire standards, they were not illegal. It would be near-impossible to forbid someone who was going to live forever and could heal from any overdose from using, but like self-flagellation or cutting, the novelty of the body’s abilities generally is something that vampires grow out of testing with some maturity.

  
Further, the fact that the bodies that the Kris’s were necromancing were human solidified the idea that the drugs were responsible. None of the skeletons were coming up smashed in or with broken bones.

  
Nobody wanted to move into the next step, which was to determine if the drugs had any indication that they were being trafficked deliberately to humans, and therefore if they were making it to the surface city above. Neither Agnes nor Carmilla were young enough to not take that possibility seriously, and the many, many, things that could go wrong with that, not even considering how many humans would die as on the list of potential consequences.

  
However, the graveyard suddenly seemed too quiet, as Laura had pulled Carmilla away from the group to give her a verbal thrashing behind the cover of a nearby tree, growing somehow in the underground earth with no leaves.

  
Clearly, if Laura was aware that the tree wasn’t soundproof, she for sure didn’t care.

  
“I can’t BELIEVE you never brought this up. Does my free will mean _anything to you at all_ , or is your ‘patience’ another cover?” Laura was angry. Carmilla hadn’t experienced the human yelling at her like this the entire time they had been in the underground city.

  
“Of course, it means something. I would have brought it up eventually.”

  
“When? After I’m re-birthed? ‘Gee Laura, so glad you chose that because otherwise I’d have to keep tabs on you like FOREVER’. Is that it?” Laura had been moving around quite a bit, just barely missing the tombstone in front of her, as she seemed to be unable to choose between moving closer to sound angrier in Carmilla’s face, or backing up to get away from her.

  
“Hey! You act like that would be such a picnic for me. Do you think I like the idea that you wouldn’t choose me and I would have to literally see the rest of your life without me with my own two eyes? Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s a blessing.”

  
“Don’t lecture me. When did you become responsible for me?”

  
She swallowed, knowing Laura wasn’t going to like the answer. She stared at Laura for a moment, clenching her fists, trying to think of a way to package the answer.

  
“Well?” Carmilla looked down and away.

  
“As soon as I brought you down here. That’s when I had complete responsibility.”

  
“So you liked me enough to take me here, but didn’t trust me enough to tell me what that would mean? Damn it, Carmilla, I didn’t even know where you were taking me! And you were signing me up for _lifetime involvement_?”

  
“Yeah, Laura, which is also a risk for me here. I’m a fucking vampire, in case you missed that. I’ve been alive for over THREE HUNDRED YEARS.”

  
Agnes and the Kris’s cringed. Once Carmilla started yelling, they knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Laura herself seemed shocked. The group started trying to slowly distance themselves from the quarrel without being obvious.

  
“Do you think I can explain to you everything I’ve been through, all of our reality, all of our rules and laws, everything in just a few weeks? Are you so full of yourself that you can’t see that I can’t?! Why do you think I brought you here?”

  
“Carm--”

  
“No, don’t ‘Carm’ me. I brought you because some things for you to get you have to see. You have to _live_ it. I can’t hand-hold you through everything. I can help you understand what I do, but I can’t make you understand what I am.” Carmilla deflated during that last sentence, sounding defeated. The subconscious change in voice reflected how she felt.

  
“Then how am I supposed to decide? Especially now?” Both of their faces fell, Carmilla’ shoulders slumping.

  
“You have to make a decision knowing you will never have all of the information. Not for both sides of the equation. It isn’t about right and wrong, even though you want it to me.”

  
Laura shook her head.

  
“I can’t accept that. How much more are you withholding from me? How am I supposed to decide with that question hanging in the background? How will I know when you’re being honest with me?”

  
“You want honesty? Fine. Here it is: I think the answer is ‘no’. I think you know that, and I think you also don’t want to give me up. Because if the answer was ‘yes’, it would be a no-brainer.”

  
“That’s NOT true, Carm. It’s a big decision.”

  
“It’s a big decision that you’re agonizing over. Seriously. I notice you’re not in agony over if the decision is a ‘no’, at least not until you understood today what that means for me.”

  
“That’s _not_ fair!”

  
“It’s not. None of this is fair.” Carmilla started backing up, putting her hands up in surrender. “Look, I can’t help you decide. It’s on you. If the answer is that you genuinely aren’t sure, then fine. But if you are sure, and you’re just looking for a defense other than ‘I don’t want to’, then you’re a coward. Because that means you won’t make a decision for what you want and just stick with it. You want some ‘greater good, holier than thou’ justification.”

  
“Carm!”

  
“Don’t. I need to take a walk.”

  
Except, Carmilla didn’t walk away. She ran so fast the wind from it blew Laura’s hair back, leaving her standing in shock.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
Carmilla watched violence break out at the club from the window of the room she and Laura had been sharing across the street. Her immediate reaction was apathy. After all, it was only a matter of time before another drug den self-destructed, with a variety of Shadows ripping each other to shreds before closing the place down, and moving onto a new underground location. Technically, they weren’t breaking any laws.

  
Really, the fires that were starting with windows bursting and even fights breaking out on the streets didn’t even phase her, until she noticed something strange: even though there were clearly riots occurring inside, there weren’t groups of people pouring out into the streets, even with a fair-sized fire-y blaze having started on the east side of the massive structure.

  
Carmilla’s hair stood on end. Something was very, very wrong with that. Out of instinct, the vampire grabbed the sword Laura had purchased, unsheathing the heavier than necessary item.

  
Laura.

  
That was another thought. There’s no way that Laura would have went into that club without Carmilla. Even if Carmilla still hadn’t seen her for hours after their fight.

  
But that was under normal circumstances. On a regular day, Laura would never go out somewhere like that without inviting Carmilla. On a day where they had a big, huge blow-up…

  
Carmilla took the sword, slinging it onto her back, deciding the stairs would be a waste and simply opening the window and jumping down.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
As soon as Carmilla was inside the violence, rioting, Shadow creatures ripping each other apart—Carmilla had most certainly seen this before.

  
Michaeletta.

  
The last time Carmilla had physically seen Michaeletta, it was a similar scene. Almost identical, actually. Carmilla looked around, seeing vampires fighting not just with fists, but with magical objects that seemed to have been placed around the night club on purpose. Her own necklace and Laura’s sword started faintly glowing.

  
Carmilla could smell the burnt flesh from what appeared to be vampires, high on some substance or another, taking turns jumping in out and seemingly on purpose, laughing as their flesh singed as they jumped in and out. It took a lot to horrify Carmilla, but this scene, complete with vamps attempting to fully drain what appeared to be already dead humans that they had slashed the veins of to try to suck out one last drop, was an image she could more than have done without.

  
Carmilla was now a full-fledged ball of worry, because even if Laura was fine, she was disgusted with the idea of Laura even seeing what she was seeing, even if she knew Laura would hate her for trying to shield her from a truth.

  
Was it truly being dishonest, or protecting the ones she loves? Or more accurately, the one? Is there even an either/or in that question?

  
The chaos behind her, the voluntary chaos at that, even vamps appearing to try to drink themselves, biting harder and harder into their own wrists instead of one another, reminded Carmilla of the last time she had seen this.

  
Michaeletta had used music created by witchcraft to drive the audience of a symphony completely insane and cannibalistic. But could she do something like that on this scale with modern dance music? And to vampires, not just humans?

  
Laura.

  
She had to make sure Laura wasn’t inside.

  
And then probably burn the building to the ground.

  
Agnes and Mateo were fighting another couple in the far corner, and from what Carmilla could spot, were losing. She was about to leap down and defend them when she noticed the DJ had continued spinning through the whole ordeal. The DJ with dark hair, who never looked up while working, hair always covering her face.

  
That is, until she did look up, and Michaela made direct eye contact with Carmilla.

  
Carmilla gasped, Michaeletta telepathically pumping her full of memories.

  
She saw through Michaeletta’s eyes watching her with Laura.

  
Watching them arrive in the city.  
Watching them walking through the streets, with Carmilla teaching Laura what everything in the city was, showing her how to navigate and interact with vampires.  
Watching anytime they had been out in public, seeming somehow to know they were going to arrive before they did.

  
Carmilla ran at lightning vampire speed, over to help Agnes and Mateo, the former with a sword of her own, and Mateo with a large switchblade. She hadn’t been able to see who they were fighting until she was up close, horrified that it appeared to be Kris and Kris, covered in blood and bruises, clearly trying to kill their friends.

  
“What are you doing?” She shouted at them, drawing the sword, as it started glowing brighter.

  
She took in their appearance. The Kris’s clearly had done some type of the drugs, and possibly mixed with the music, it looks like they were going to have to add the two blonds to the ‘insane’ list. However, the dark-haired pair still appeared not to have been potentially burning and scratching at their own flesh, so Carmilla was going to go with those two being safe.

  
“We have to get rid of them or it won’t work. And these two are NO FUN.”

  
“Ya. It won’t work. We can’t control her if she’s not dead.”

  
“What?!” Carmilla saw swinging the sword as a warning, keeping them back from the dark-haired hair.

  
“It’s Laura! They want Laura. They want her dead so they can use her as one of their puppets.” Mateo shouted, before spitting out blood from a hit Kris had gotten in a few moments prior.

  
“Go! She’s over by the VIP section!” Agnes said, clearly ready to continue fighting off the twins.

  
Carmilla didn’t hesitate, sheathing the sword on her back. As soon as she had spun her head to the side, she saw a lump on one of the purple plush couches, nobody paying attention the body, assuming she was already dead. The fire on the east end was still blazing, mixing in smoke from the fire with the fake smoke from the front of the club, the music still playing.

  
“Please don’t be dead.” Carmilla only needed two good leaps to land next to Laura, kneeling down to take the small woman in her arms.

  
She had a slash on the side of her throat, and bruised wrists.

  
“Laura.” Carmilla made it a point to file away in her brain that whatever the outcome of this evening, she was absolutely going to kill both Kris and Kris, whether or not they were being demonically controlled.

  
She knew Laura was too pale, but there was a slight breathing movement. Just a bit. But if she didn’t do something soon, even that would slip away.  
Carmilla could feel Laura’s pulse, barely present, but still there, as she hesitated.

  
Agnes was screaming something at her, but Carmilla couldn’t quite process it as she felt time slow down, realizing what this moment was.

  
Laura was dying. And she knew now she had to decide if she was going to do the exact thing they had just fought over, knowing it was completely taking away Laura’s free will over the situation. However, if Carmilla didn’t open her veins right then, there would be no Laura to have free will.

  
It was a no-brainer.

  
Completely oblivious to the chaos continuing around them, Carmilla wiped away tears she hadn’t realized had started leaking before using her canines to rip open her wrist, placing it to Laura’s mouth.

  
She continued to whisper to Laura, not even conscious of what she was saying, leaning her head down closer to listen to Laura’s breath and pulse. She noticed there was a slight suction around her wrist, as the pulse beneath her picked up.

  
“That’s it. Drink, Laura. Stay with me.”

  
When Laura attached, drinking strongly, she knew Laura was going to be just fine.

  
If being a vampire is ‘just fine’ for her.

  
She knew Laura would sleep for a while, before waking up ravenous, and this was no place to do it. She glanced back up at Michaeletta, who was back to her hair covering her face, ignoring the rage that bubbled up inside of her.

  
How. Dare. She.

  
Carmilla picked Laura up, kissing the top of her head.

  
“Agnes! It’s the music!” She shouted, seeing Agnes, who had been fighting off Kris, look over at the DJ station and nod.

  
Carmilla didn’t feel the need to stick around, walking out of the burning establishment, a four-wall enclosure now of a literal Hell, carrying Laura back across the street to rest, whispering reassurances she knew Laura couldn’t hear in her slumber, as her body underwent the transformation.

  
“Please forgive me, Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is sort of an end, and also potentially a beginning. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue, but if I do it'll be a separate sequel-don't worry, I'll do the link in a series thing. Otherwise, thanks for stopping in for all of this madness!


End file.
